Living well with melanoma: Meet @grammato3

TERESA: What brought you to Mayo Clinic Connect?

@grammato3: I can’t recall exactly how I found out about Mayo Clinic Connect, probably as an extension of being treated in the Melanoma Clinic at Mayo’s Phoenix campus. I started taking part in the discussions shortly after I began immunotherapy for my stage IV metastatic melanoma. I’m glad I did as I’ve found it incredibly helpful in numerous ways.

TERESA: What motivates you to take part in Mayo Clinic Connect?

@grammato3: Dealing with a specific cancer diagnosis can feel extremely isolating and frequently frightening. The online community offered through Mayo Connect provides a convenient, supportive way to share experiences, offer encouragement and get guidance from others who have been or are going through similar medical journeys.

TERESA: What about Mayo Clinic Connect makes you feel comfortable to share and to be open with the community?

@grammato3: I’ve gained a sense of belonging and a comfort level being amongst members. I consider them my peers in a lot of ways and right from the very beginning. I attribute this to the fact that we all share the same or similar diagnoses and have an understanding of the myriad of emotions we tend to go through that others – our family or friends – may not fully understand. There’s a very non-judgmental attitude. People offer empathy, practical advice and coping strategies that are really helpful.

TERESA: What support groups do you participate in?

@grammato3: I'm active in the Cancer support group and also participate in the monthly Melanoma Support Group Meeting facilitated by Heidi Turner, L.G.S.W., M.S.W., a Clinical Research Coordinator at Mayo Clinic.

TERESA: Tell us about a meaningful moment on Mayo Clinic Connect.

@grammato3: I recently shared on the forum how, after I attended a webinar on melanoma, I experienced a Paradigm Shift in Thinking. Specifically, that I don’t consider myself as HAVING metastatic melanoma so much as LIVING with metastatic melanoma. It was so heartwarming to not only get over 30 positive responses to the discussion but to hear from other members who have faced serious, even terminal conditions, and shared their own stories of transformative thinking. For example, one person shared how their life went from their worst to best version of self, focusing on wellness and well-being resulting in an improved quality of life. Another member commented that it may be a different life, but one well-lived. Yet another shared the importance of being an active participant with her healthcare team and how that helped bring about peace of heart and mind. It’s a very empowering and inspiring mindset to focus on quality of life as opposed to quantity.

TERESA: What surprised you the most about Mayo Clinic Connect? 

@grammato3: There is a wide and diverse range of individuals who come to and benefit from Mayo Clinic Connect – one need not be undergoing services at Mayo to join Connect. That had been my initial impression and I’m glad to see that’s not the case as so many benefit from the various forums.

TERESA: What energizes you, or how do you find balance in your life?

@grammato3: First and foremost: gratitude. I have a stone on my desk reminding me of this daily practice – to find joy every day with how I’ve been blessed; what brings me happiness, what I have – not focusing on things I don’t have or wish I did. Following what I’ve come to know as the Middle Path: making room for compromise, which tends to validate our feelings and those of another towards a more harmonious outcome and avoids extreme thinking. It helps to maintain flexibility, peace and contentment.

TERESA: Tell us about your favorite pastime or activity.

@grammato3: In addition to reading and being the founder of our community book club, I have enjoyed volunteering at the local children’s hospital for eight years with my therapy dog. Regrettably, she died last year after a brief illness. I have spent the past several months training a new puppy who will be getting her accreditation shortly. Maybe someday in the not-too-distant future, she’ll be greeting visitors at the Mayo Clinic Phoenix campus!

TERESA: Do you have a favorite quote, life motto or personal mantra?

@grammato3: I learned this from my mother: “Welcome triumphs with joy and accept sorrows with dignity.”

 TERESA: What food can you simply not resist? 

@grammato3: I don’t know if this technically qualifies as a food, but I have to go with M&Ms! In fact, whenever we go to Las Vegas, I’d gladly bypass the casinos in favor of a visit to M&M World. Last time we went, to see the Eagles at the Sphere, I sheepishly admit I dropped $30 on an assortment of my favorite kind (they’re obviously all my favorite).

TERESA: Puppies or kittens? 

@grammato3: A year of puppy training has reminded me – kittens are easier. But out of respect to my current labradoodles Coby and Lexi, I’ll have to say “puppies”!

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