What do you do when a loved one is detached from reality?

Severe mental health disorders can complicate relationships. That goes double for families, when genetic predispositions and generational trauma can come into play. And it’s even more complicated when a loved one’s mental illness disconnects them from reality.

We dive into these topics on our latest Read. Talk. Grow. episode: “Dealing with delusions: When family members have fixed, false beliefs.” Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Episode summary

In this episode, we’re talking about delusions with author and pharmacist Ruth Madievsky. Her book ALL-NIGHT PHARMACY explores how the mental health of parents — and their attitudes toward health and healthcare — can shape the experiences and wellbeing of their children. Mayo Clinic expert Dr. Robert Bright draws upon his psychiatry expertise to help tease out these often-complex dynamics.

In this episode, Dr. Millstine and her guests discussed:

• Trauma begets trauma. Ruth explores how children can be affected by their parents’ trauma, even if parents don’t think their children are entitled to negative feelings, given their relatively privileged experiences. Dr. Bright sees the impact of generational trauma in his practice — sometimes because patterns are repeated, sometimes because children consciously decide to act differently than their parents.
• Meeting the relatives. If you have a loved one with a severe mental health disorder, how do talk about it with friends and acquaintances? When do you bring the topic up in a new romantic relationship? Sometimes fear of judgment can keep people silent about their loved ones with mental health struggles — wondering, “What will they think of me?” “Will they think I’ve failed my relative?” and “Will they think I’m predisposed to this same condition?”
• The hope for cure. Every time the protagonist’s mother’s mental health problems escalate and she ends up hospitalized, the protagonist hopes that this time will result in a revelatory diagnosis, a new treatment, or a treatment plan that sticks. Our guests discuss how this patchwork, reactive care isn’t enough to address her mother’s issues — what her mother really needs is safety net via affordable, proactive healthcare.

More resources. Listen to these Read. Talk. Grow. episodes:

• The challenges and costs of chronic illness in the U.S. with author Nicole Chung.

Questions for discussion:

• If you have a loved one with a severe mental health disorder or delusions, how have you been able to support them? What has been challenging about the experience?

Share your thoughts, questions and opinions below!