If your fertility journey wasn’t as joyful as you hoped - join the conversation!

Everyone’s fertility and pregnancy story involves a unique mix of feelings: joy, pain, grief, weirdness, hope and more.

If your journey wasn't what you wanted or expected, you may relate to episode 34, “What you weren’t expecting: The weird, painful and surreal sides of pregnancy and fertility. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Episode summary

Author Danielle Valentine joins us to discuss her book “Delicate Condition,” a pregnancy horror book that depicts the darker sides to fertility, pregnancy and healthcare. Mayo Clinic expert Dr. Ali Ainsworth joins to help us understand more about the logistical and emotional challenges of fertility journeys and assisted reproductive technology.

In this episode, Dr. Millstine and her guests discussed:

• What you didn’t expect when you were expecting. Pregnancy is often depicted as a sunshine-filled, rosy time in a woman’s life, but some people can’t wait for it to be over. Danielle found that pregnancy could be surreal, gruesome and just plain weird — an experience taken to the extreme in her book. Plus, many women feel like their concerns about their body (and pain!) are not taken seriously when they are pregnant.
• A messy, work-intensive miracle. Creating life is a miracle — but sometimes this miracle only happens because someone with a uterus is doing a lot of work like going through in-vitro fertilization (IVF) or intrauterine insemination (IUI). IVF treatment can be very disruptive to your life, Dr. Ainsworth says, a logistical burden depicted in Danielle’s novel.
• The shame around pregnancy loss and infertility. In popular media, pregnancy loss is often glossed over in a moment, if it’s mentioned at all. The culture of silence around miscarriage and infertility can be harmful, as women don’t get the support they need and often blame themselves for their losses. Sharing stories about pregnancy, loss and birth can help women support each other.

More resources. Listen to this Read. Talk. Grow. episode:

• Breaking the silence surrounding miscarriage with novelist Jackie Polzin and Dr. Kate White

Questions for discussion:

• If you’ve experienced trying to get pregnant or pregnancy, what do you wish you’d known during your fertility or pregnancy journey?
• If you haven’t had these experiences, what have you learned or witnessed that is most surprising to you about fertility and pregnancy?

Share your thoughts, questions and opinions below!