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Jun 13, 2017 · Thoughts from a Caregiver... in Caregivers

You went deep into your soul as you poured out your love for your wife to us. Yes, tears came quicly to my eyes as I read your feelings so beautifuuly described.

My husband is now in the middle stage of dimensia sliding too quickley to the more advanced side of middle. Each day is a blessing to have him with me no matter how much the pain inside my heart hurts.

Thank you for sharing.

Foxy Lady

Feb 26, 2017 · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers: Dementia

I cried when I read your experiences. I cried for you and for me.My husband is slowly and consistently leaving me as Alzheimer’s robs his brain. He also has spatial dimentia with it’s own unique symptoms. He can come into the living room, for example, but not know how to get to the bedroom. He can’t recognize the door that leads from our apartment to the hallway where the elevator is located. So all day I must guide him to where he wants to go. He can not be left alone. Just now he was watching me and he does that a lot. Now I am somewhat used to it but it’s still a bit disturbing. It is like a boss micromanaging all the time. I asked him what he wanted and he said I can’t find what I’m looking for and I  can’t remember what it was. So I started asking him questions and he said oh yes. He said I want my shirt and I want to say it but I don’t know where they are. My answer to him was,  I am here for everything at any time all you have to do is ask me because I love you. And then I told him it was also because I am a very bossy person and it made both of us laugh and it just cut through the stress for both of usIf we have a converstion, I must instigate it and carry the conversation. I am discovering that he now is becoming more confused with the facts concerning our conversation. Our neighbors across the hall from us put their condo on the market. It sold. The next morning my husband said that we were going to have to move because the entire Condo building was sold. He was very concerned as to where we were going to live. It took several conversations and several days for him to stop talking about our having to move out of the building.I am blessed that he is a gentle man and does not scream and yell at me. I look at him with loving eyes as he holds onto me telling me how much he loves me. But the holding on has become more clinging onto me as he mentions he knows he has this horrible disease and I know he is scared although he has never said so.At night when he gets out of bed to use the bathroom, he can not remember where the bed is although it is right in front of him and he goes into another room. I was concerned that if I did not wake up, he could go out the door into the hallway. I found a small motion detector, about the size of two decks of cards, from Amazon for about $30 that I turn on every night and put it in front of the door. It makes me more comfortable knowing if he crosses in front of it, the alarm will alert me. He has done it once and was literally shaking when I reached him. I told him it was to keep us safe from intruders and he had no problem with that. And so the time passes. No longer do we have walks on the beach because he is so unstable walking and falling happens too often. No longer can I sit down and read a book along side him because he can’t comprehend what he is reading and has a  very short attention span. No longer can I have a dinner with a lovely table cloth on my table and now must use plastic place mats because a lot of food misses his mouth and ends up on the table or on a large napkin on his lap. Even having him use a spoon rather than a fork has not helped. No longer can I sit down at the table without first having to help him sit because he can’t judge where the chair is and almost falls off of it. He started not pulling the chair away from the table bit rather moving on to it from the side. So now I am the chair lady helping him to fully sit on the chair. No longer can we travel to far away places as he can’t handle long flights. A 5 hour flight with no stops and a bit of medication is possible but not relaxing for me as he only sits and stares straight ahead. Watching a movie is not an option as the ear pieces are uncomfortable.Several months ago, he didn’t recognize me as his wife and felt I was a new girlfriend, with privileges, which made life very interesting to say the least. He told me all about himself and asked me about my life. His most asked question was how old I am. That was the last thing I wanted to have him ask EVERY MORNING when we would wake me up.He has always been a very kind gentle man and that continues. However, he will get something in his head anf will not let go of it until I feel  I want to scream. And so I do by opening the refrigerator door, putting my head inside and quietly scream to release the stress.Because he gets lost inside our apartment, he no longer is he allowed to go any where by himself. This has been very difficult for him as he was a walker and would leave every afternoon for a two mile walk by himself.  Several months ago he started attending Adult Day Care 2 full days a week. It certainly has helped my stress level. From all of this I take the position that every moment of every day is going to give me a different challenge. How to best handle it I have found is to add as much humor as possible although sometimes it’s very difficult to find humor. But it does clear the air after both of his have had a good laugh. Sometimes I just dance around and act silly.It sure feels good to have this conversation with you. I really needed it.

Dec 30, 2016 · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers: Dementia

For months I have been following this chat room.However never had time to respond due to either no time or energy as I adjusted to my husband’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s plus spatial dementia. Four years ago he was diagnosed but there was no help from our insurance group. Finally I contacted the VA and received the help we needed.It has been a merry go round as he one day didn’t know that I was his wife and began flirting with me and started telling me about his back ground and asking me about mine. Finally decided he loved me but since he was married and hadn’t seen his wife in many months, he felt that he was cheating on her. My husband is 80 and we have been married for 56 years.We have a long mirrored wall in our living room and mirrors on the back splash area on the kitchen. It is all one room so the mirrors pick us up on various angles and he thinks there are four or six or even eight of us in the room. Also the sliding closet doors in the two bedrooms are mirrored.Covering the mirrors are not as option so I live with this daily.I have some friends who are my support system. I also have my husband in adult day care two days a week. Our only child lives in California and we live in Honolulu so my support from him is over the phone. He is very helpful and will try to fly to be with us every three months. We just returned from spending Christmas with him and his family and I feel this will be our last flight. My husbsnd just has such a difficult time with the flight even with medication.I want to share how I solved the driving problem with my father who had Alzheimers and refused to stop driving. Watching him drive one day when I was driving a car next to his, I realized his license must be pulled and sent a letter to the department of motor vehicles. By mail they requested he come into the office for testing and he failed. Of couse he wasn’t happy and refused to give us his key. I called the local Toyota dealership and it was suggested we have a kill switch installed. It was installed on the lower area of the steering wheel shaft. A special key had to be inserted before the ignition key was inserted  Then the engine would start. Without the special key, the engine would not start. So his key didn’t work and we told him there must be a problem with the car. He never saw us insert the special key and our fear of him driving was finished.Toyota didn’t do this type of work and suggested a place that installed radios.I hope this info will be of help to someone.Bless all of you who share your burdens. Now I know I am not the only one living in this cloud.

Nov 26, 2016 · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers: Dementia

Hello,For the past few days I have been following your comments. Your experiences are what I too am and have experienced.I would like to join the chat group but can not figure out how to get into it. When I hit reply, I come back into one of your comments. Can you guide me?

Sep 22, 2016 · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers: Dementia

I am new to this site and after reading your post, knew I found the right place to vent and share.