About

First Name
Scott

Health Interests
Caregivers, Cancer, Chronic pain, Eye disorders, Neurology (brain and nervous system), Palliative and end-of-life care

Posts (714)

3 hours ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

I agree @providence1960 and @rmftucker Caregiving is filled with times of overload, being overwhelmed, and misunderstood. Decisions regarding care are often challenging beyond anything we could have previously imagined.

As I have said more than once 'superheros only exist in the comics and not in caregivers'. Each one of us can only do what we are able to as we focus on what care our loved ones need — at any specific time. Then be ready to see it all change up in an instant and the demands and our abilities to meet them likewise change. Knowing we are making the best care decision can soothe our hearts, but rarely, if ever, make the decisions easy or easier.

Strength, courage, and peace

1 day ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

Good afternoon, @providence1960 I recall those same feelings being exhibited by my wife. Hated having help, but inside very afraid to be alone or without help. Your 'roller coaster' analogy is perfect! Now that you say that I can even feel it again! In the beginning the big hills to climb and the huge drops, repeat, and repeat….then as the disease progressed it was more of those dang little ones — up, down, up, down, up, down.

We can all keep looking for that humor!

I am very pleased to hear you find some comfort in this group! Caregiving can be such an intense, isolating experience!

Continued strength, courage, and peace!

1 day ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

My favorite thing about Connect is the sharing @sallysue That is a great outcome for your sister with driving. It was one of the more difficult early potholes we hit with my wife. Luckily she had an appointment at Mayo and her neuro-oncologist was able to get her a test on their driving simulator. She was sad she failed, but he was so good at explaining and ultimately he was the one who said 'no more driving' and since it was the doctor she accepted it more readily than she would have from me.

Sounds like you have some solid plans in place! Things change, but always wise to be prepared! I remember my wife and I once laughing over the time she said to me "Gee, Scott, what is this? Are we on about 'Plan Double Z' now?

I hope the sun is shining wherever you are today!

Strength, courage, and peace!

1 day ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

Hi @sallysue I am no expert on dementia at all, but I did work for years as a fundraiser for the national Alzheimer's Association and their medical research program. The disease can be quite different in each person. I think this is true of how most brain diseases act on folks. I know my wife reacted very differently to her brain cancer than anyone else I've met.

My MIL never experienced any hostility in all the years she fought it, but it is a fairly common symptom of the disease. On the other hand my daughter-in-law's father had quite a few months of hostile activity, which then stopped as suddenly as it started.

These types of things are so very painful to discuss, but if I learned one thing from my wife it was to talk and make decisions as soon as you can. As incredibly sad and uncomfortable as many of our discussions were, it made the journey a bit less rugged knowing I was able to follow what she wanted and our adult children and I never had to play the 'what would Mom have wanted' game.

Strength, courage, and peace!

1 day ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

Thanks for your sharing, @debrat1 I find it interesting and appreciate being able to read this post.

The first inclination I had with my MIL was when she visited our home. One floor, two bedrooms. She kept getting lost and not being able to find the bedroom, which was visible everywhere in the house. Plus that trip she always had to have her overcoat in view.

Thanks again! Looking forward to 'the rest of the story' as Paul Harvey used to say!

1 day ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

Hello @debrat1 Love your pups! I have a rescue Lab and our daughter will be getting a rescue this Friday! I got Napa when a family got a pup as a 'gift' and then tired of her.

I wish you the best and agree that the future is never known to any of us.

On the topic of family recognizing, acknowledging, etc. our health journeys I am reminded of the fact we can not change those things that are out of our control. Throughout my wife's 14+ year journey there were those who consistently thought she was not 'really' ill or that I was just an alarmist when they'd ask 'how is she doing?' and I would answer honestly.

Glad you have your pups! I love their love!

Strength, courage, and peace

2 days ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

You are right, @suerc A busy house! I have one dog and that seems like a lot at times! Being larger dogs that could weigh on your neighbor too I might think. You never know I guess!

How do the dogs and the cat get along? Hopefully nicely! 🙂

Strength, courage, and peace!

3 days ago · Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone? in Caregivers

Hi @suerc One of the hard parts of any chronic disease is the unknown. I know in my wife's case as she journeyed through her war there was no map, no hard and fast rules (other than when she failed her driver's test), my caregiving, and much more.

Again, in my wife's case they told us she might be lucky to live with her condition for 7 years and fought for more than double that. Same when she entered home hospice they said possibly six weeks and she was in that for over 14 months. We just never know in many such situations.

It is only my opinion, but on the animal care I'd say the moment you believe it is any kind of burden or difficulty for him, I'd quit.

I also guess, again just my opinion, that his wife will have to make the judgement call of when she should get him more care that what she can, or is, giving.

Nice to know you, as a neighbor, have a watchful eye out for his wellbeing.

What kind of pets do you have? I'm a dog guy myself 🙂