Hi @kristap31 . Your little guy, Owen, seems like he has been through a lot in his short life so far. I also can sense the grief and sadness in your posts. Undoubtedly, you have endured quite a bit of loss with your son, your future children that you never got to bear, and the fear of another critical illness for Owen. My goodness… you're carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders everyday.
I'd love to hear any insight as to what has been helpful for you. Have you found any success in coping through these feelings and emotions? Does talking through it help? The journaling help? Have you found other practices that have been helpful, perhaps church groups/support or other grief groups? How about reaching out to your own primary care provider?