I’m an educator. You can go back to school. Every college has a Disability Department; I used to work in a couple, UC Berkeley, and Merritt College in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can re-enroll as a disabled student and choose ANY program you wish as the college has to, by law, accommodate your special needs.
AND having a pace maker and heart disease qualifies you as having a legitimate disability.
First, start with an appointment with your cardiologist. Tell him/her, you want to go back to school. Have them fill out the necessary paper work that designates you as having a medically necessary adapted school schedule. If you had a student loan, you can go on medical deferment. You are an adult, so I would suggest seeing your doctor first, who then can explain to your mother that all kinds of things occur with heart problems, including mood changes and behavior changes. If your mother can’t or won’t be emotionally available, the medical community and groups of people with heart disease are. There are people with handicaps who are doing amazing things in amazing fields….you just need the right people on your side. Right now it’s the medical community. Of course probably are clinically depressed; your cardiologist can help here too. I am rooting for you. If you are back in school, remember accommodations must be made so you can achieve your goals, in whatever field you choose.
There are psychiatrists and psychologists who specialize in working with people who have physical disabilities or health issues. Go to the NAMI website and try to find someone in your area. Good luck and keep us all informed.