This is difficult for me to discuss. I am a divorced 40 yr old mother of two. I’m very attractive to men and always have been. My whole life Ive believed I was straight and never gave it a second thought. A few years ago a woman walked into my life and everything changed (she was obviously lesbian). At first I thought I was just going through some weird phase and denied that it was an attraction, I chalked it up to admiration for this woman. Over time (years) I slowly worked through my feelings and accepted that I loved her. I’ve always had gay friends so I have some support. However, my family doesn’t know, though I think they suspect and they’re not happy. I haven’t officially “come out” other than to my gay friends. I feel like a liar in some regards. I still attract men because of how I look (I have no desire to change how I look). I’m very lonely due to the huge secret I’m hiding and I’m starting to think it would just be easier to go back to men or be single forever. It seems there’s too many difficulties in being gay and coming out later in life.