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4 days ago · ~ Whining again ~ in Mental Health

I'm sorry I'm whining again, so I'll apologize right out. No one seems to answer so I think this venting is just more for me. I hate this place ….. I am so sorry I moved to VA. I should have stayed in MD where I was happy, had my own condo, and pleasant environment and people around me ….. here, nothing at all like it. I made a big mistake when I moved here. I hate the thought of living here for the duration.
abby

Tue, May 7 9:48am · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

I saw my Psychiatrist last week and he upped my Lamictal to 150 mg. I'm glad, but I've come to the conclusion that with this Bipolar 2, it's just something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Mine is heavy on the depression and the manic side is just "flat" ….. rarely about "up."
And, I've come to the decision that except for special events like Christmas, and my grandchildren's birthday, I'm not going to go to any other family functions. It's just plain stupid to go to them and have to watch "the man" put on his wonderful act. Both my Psychiatrist and Psychologist have told me repeatedly that it was not good for me to have moved down here, so close to my X. Well, now what am I to do about it? I'm here and I'll have to stay here. With my S.S. being what it is, I just make it to the end of the month, so moving again is out of the question, plus my girls would really hate it …. I'm blessed that they really enjoy being with me. So, I'll plug along, and just figure that this is where I'm supposed to be ….. I just wish I'd have known how closely he lived. I was thinking maybe 30-40 miles, not 15!
abby

Fri, Apr 26 11:24pm · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

Just found out our rent is going up next month quite a substantial amount. There's going to be a lot of people fleeing, probably in the middle of the night, so no one will know at the office – then they'll never be heard from again. I think a large part of my distress is the up and down of this bipolar 2. I take Lamictal, but between that and my knee replacement, I can have problems with balance. I've fallen several times, so I got one of those Greatcall things to wear around my neck …. ugly thick black cord. So, I took that off and have it on a sort of heavy silver chain and when I'm out, it is UNDER my shirt, rather than on top of it. And, my BP runs about 90/60 in the AM, rarely going beyond 110 during the day. That contributes to all this too. All in all, it was a mistake to move down here ….. I guess a big piece is my X is a real thorn in my side. Just having him that closeby gauls me. I wish I'd have known that before making the move.
abby

Thu, Apr 25 3:41pm · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

Thanks Teresa …. I really need to find a job. Just today I got a nibble about a possible job at Chick-fil-a, at least til they find out how old I am. The .Bipolar 2 doesn't help either …. every day is different. Some days I have energy and get things done around here, and other days I don't want to get out of bed. I take meds. and see my Psychiatrist, who is excellent, but it's just something I have to learn to live with. I also drive back to see my therapist once a month, which is where I used to live.
abby

Thu, Apr 25 3:41pm · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

Hi everyone. Some of you know that about 3-4 years ago I moved from one state to another – about 4 hours away – to be closer to my daughters and their families. I was happy up there, I had my own condo, doctors, friends, church, and knew the town like the back of my hand. After 5 years of hounding me, I finally relented and moved down here ….. a big mistake. I see my girls once a week – I know I can't expect more as they have their own lives – live in a low-income apartment complex for reasons I won't go into now, and to say I hate living here. I've tried to find a job – for over 2 months, but at age 75 – well, as much as they say "you can't discriminate due to age", that's a lie. They can and they do. I'm healthy and enjoy working – part time would be best. I've been told to "volunteer" ….. this is going to sound awful, but if I'm going to work, I want to get paid for it. Money is extremely tight, and I am just making it, with a very tight budget. My girls are delighted I'm here, but I'm not. They know I'm sorry I moved, but speak about it not at all. They're not approachable about it …. they're just happy I'm here. I just cannot see myself living out the rest of my days living like this. The complex I'm .in has the typical low income problems ….. young girls being handcuffed and hauled off by the police, a known "drug building", totally disrespectful and foul mouthed kids – and I do mean kids …. some as young as 7 or 8, and some oddities which I won't go into. I never go out after dark – EVER. It's just not safe. So, I'm stuck. Due to money issues, there's no way I can move back to where I was (I lived there for 30 years), and to top it off my X-husband has a huge house only 15 miles down the road from me. I've been told I can reopen our case to receive alimony, but I know it would fracture my relationship with my 3 kids and I just can't do that. I did not ask for alimony when we divorced as I had a good bit of money, but then unknown to me, got caught up in a ponzi scheme which took over 3/4 of what I had. Truthfully, I just wish my time were up. This would be over, and as an Orthodox Christian, I believe I'd be in a better place. I see my therapist – in my old city – once a month ….. but you don't get much done in 50 min. a month.
Thanks for listening to an old lady gripe.
abby

Fri, Apr 12 2:58pm · ~ Need Input on Falling Asleep Whenever I Sit Down ~ in Sleep Health

Thanks for the input. I do see my Psychiatrist week after next and I'll bring this up. And, as much as I'm ashamed to admit it, when driving on an interstate, I catch myself nodding off, but quickly awaken. I often (but not always) have very low BP …. last time it was 90/60.
abby

Fri, Apr 12 1:26pm · ~ Need Input on Falling Asleep Whenever I Sit Down ~ in Sleep Health

The other is Bupropion.
abby

Fri, Apr 12 1:25pm · ~ Need Input on Falling Asleep Whenever I Sit Down ~ in Sleep Health

Whenever I sit down, TV, reading, anything, I fall asleep. I don’t know if this is from my medications or if it’s narcolepsy. Can anyone provide any insight here? Just the Bipolar 2 ones I take are Venafexine, Klonopin, Propanolol (for essential tremers from Lamictal), Lamictal, and one other one that starts with B, which I can’t remember at the moment.
Insight anyone?
abby