About

First Name
Barbara ellen

City
Staunton

State/Province
VA

Health Interests
Allergies, Bone, joint, and muscle disorders, Eye disorders, Healthy Aging, Healthy Living, Mental health disorders, Palliative and end-of-life care, Women's health issues

Posts (695)

Thu, Jan 2 2:14pm · Anyone have depersonalization disorder (DPD)? Want to discuss. in Mental Health

Hi there …. yes, when I was going through the worst of my life at home as a child, and also during my marriage, I experienced this regularly. It is as if you are two different people, mentally. I would be driving down the street and suddenly I felt like I was driving in a tube with no one else around. Often these splits would happen when I was most stressed. Then I realized I did this a lot as a kid, as a form of protection. Raised in an alcoholic home, I always felt at risk, threatened, so I just "left" ….. mentally. It's scary when it happens and few people know about it, but with excellent therapy from a Psychologist and medication from an excellent Psychiatrist, it finally stopped. During my divorce, it would happen occasionally , so that I could "go away" from the hurt and pain. People who have not experienced this have no idea, and it sounds a little weird, but believe me, it isn't. I think there are a lot of us out there who do this, but are afraid to admit it. Take care,
abby

Thu, Jan 2 1:44pm · When is the Right Time to Move? in Charter House

I made the move to an apartment to be closer to my 2 daughters. My son lives in D.C. The girls are sweet as can be …. I only see them about once a week, but they have families to take care of and I understand that. I'm waiting for a first floor, 2 bedroom senior apartment to open up not far from me. The apartments here are pretty sketchy …. I never go out at night, my keys were stolen, the kids throw eggs at cars, as you drive by they holler all sorts of foul things at you ….. there's one building known at the Crack House. I've been here 3 years and I'm done. So many times I've wanted to go back to the city and state I came from, but that's not possible anymore. I'm Bipolar 2, some days are fairly good and some are awful. I'm hoping when I move to the Senior Building, it will be better and I won't miss my former city and state so much. I guess my advice would be to BE SURE this is what YOU want to do, and aren't pressured into moving by others, no matter how well meaning. Good Luck.
abby

Thu, Jan 2 1:04pm · Anyone know of long distance transportation assistance? in Just Want to Talk

I don't know where you're going or if there's a rail going there, but every Oct. I used to take the train from Washington D.C. to St. Louis to visit my son when he had his Fall break during October. I got a family unit which has a sink, shower, toilet, bed, and chair and table. But to get those you have to call REAL early. I loved the train. Good Luck
abby

Dec 31, 2019 · Having trouble keeping your balance? in Healthy Living

Hi everyone …. I usually hang out at the Anxiety and Depression Board, but I felt this was a more appropriate place for my question. I take 2 meds. which can cause balance problems. Also, about a year ago, I started to really have to be careful, or I'd lose my balance and fall. Also, when I told my doctor that I had taken a nasty fall about the same time, and had a concussion …. he told me I was "mighty lucky it wasn't worse." Since then, I really have to be careful. I've gotten myself one of the Greatcall things for around my neck in case I fall and really hurt myself. Could a fall like this, on concrete, have done something in my head to cause the increase in balance problems? Any input you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
abby

Dec 15, 2019 · ~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~ in Mental Health

Hi all …. I'm not sure how to put the newest post in at the top, so if someone could help me, I'd appreciate it.
Well, here I still am. I've been here in VA for 4 years and I still don't like it. I so much want to go home (Frederick, MD). I never go anywhere but once a week to see my girls, but oh it was such a mistake to move down here. I'm in good health, my mind is clear, and the only reason I moved was because my 3 kids hounded me to move for several years. I'd lived in MD for 30 years, and I doubt I'll ever adjust to this place. Half the days of the week I don't get dressed …. this was never me before. I was busy and active, had a church I loved, a wonderful condo, and dear friends. But, finally I relented and came here. Here of late I've been waking up about 4:30 AM and I'm totally confused … I'm thinking "where am I?, am I still at my condo?, where's my husband? (we've been divorced for over 10 years after a 42 year marriage). I finally get a grip on reality and by then I'm totally awake. I turn on the TV and eventually fall asleep again. I see a Psychiatrist for meds. every 1-2 months, and try to get up to see my therapist about every 6 weeks, except in Winter when the weather is bad. We used to have a weekly phone session, but now the insurance company has them charge the same price for a phone session as they do a person to person session, and they won't pay for it ….. the insured (me) has to, and at their rates I just can't do that.
I hate to admit this, but somedays – most days – it's just not worth it. I've tried getting a job, but at 74, no one can tell me they don't discriminate because of age …. they sure do. I'm just ready to be done ….. then it would be all over with. My X only lives 20 min. down the road from me in a big, lovely house, and I pinch every penny just to get by. I'm looking into Medicaid and Food Banks. When my Dad died he left me with a sizeable inheritance, but (most of you know this so I'm sorry to be repeating it) unfortunately.
he has a ponzi scheme going on and I lost over half of what I had. He got his due from the SEC, but the rest of us got nothing.
I'm exhausted trying to squeeze every nickel into a quarter. I've had several friends say to me that even though I didn't ask for alimony, because of the inheritance, out of "the goodness of his heart" my X should voluntarily help out a little. Goodness of his heart, huh????? I don't think Narcissists even have a heart, let alone one that will "give."
Thanks for listening, abby

Nov 13, 2019 · ~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~ in Mental Health

Well, here comes the "whiner" again. I'm sorry. I know I've probably said this a hundred times to you all, but it was a big mistake to move here from my real home city. I hate it here. I don't leave my apartment because it's too dangerous. I take my dog out, and get the mail and a few groceries, but that's about it. I'm soon to be 75, can't find a part-time job, must make a change in churches as my usual one (denominationally) to something bigger where I might be able to meet people and I'm not so alone. Half the time I don't even get dressed … just sit in my nightgown and bathrobe. I thought of spending a few weeks in Frederick with a girlfriend and seeing my therapist several times, but he doesn't have any appts. til way after the holidays. This time of year is rough on a lot of people. Oh well, such it is.
abby

Nov 13, 2019 · Klonopin in Depression & Anxiety

I've been on Klonopin for about 5 years and mostly what I notice is some extra sleepiness and a bit of a balance problem. abby

Nov 11, 2019 · ~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~ in Mental Health

I can't thank you all enough for sharing your struggles and hearts with me. Knowing I'm not alone in these feelings makes them so much more bearable. Sometimes I think I believe I'm the only one going through this. Yes, I did get a note back from my X about the book …. it was actually very gentle (I think he knows I'm falling apart) and he told me he'd just like to have a good, friendly, relationship with me. With a clearer thinking mind this morning, I realize just how much this Bipolar 2 affects me. When I see my Psychiatrist I'm going to talk to him about it. Maybe a change in meds. is necessary. The coming on of winter doesn't help either …. my most dreaded season.
I realize that every morning it's hard to get out of bed, and it's not because I'm tired ….. I just don't want to face another day. But, when you have pets, you have to get up ….. that's a good thing……it pushes me to get up and get moving.
One thing my X did tell me was that there apparently is a group in the area called "People meeting People" which is for new residents. I'm going to find out about that and if it sounds like me, I'm going to give it a try.
I think a change in churches is in order too, but I won't go into all that.
I just want to thank you all for your help. Just knowing you all are there, and I have a place to go when those black times come, is a real comfort to me.
abby