First Name
Barbara ellen



Health Interests
Allergies, Bone, joint, and muscle disorders, Eye disorders, Healthy Aging, Healthy Living, Mental health disorders, Palliative and end-of-life care, Women's health issues

Posts (697)

4 days ago · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

Well, here comes the "whiner" again. I'm sorry. I know I've probably said this a hundred times to you all, but it was a big mistake to move here from my real home city. I hate it here. I don't leave my apartment because it's too dangerous. I take my dog out, and get the mail and a few groceries, but that's about it. I'm soon to be 75, can't find a part-time job, must make a change in churches as my usual one (denominationally) to something bigger where I might be able to meet people and I'm not so alone. Half the time I don't even get dressed … just sit in my nightgown and bathrobe. I thought of spending a few weeks in Frederick with a girlfriend and seeing my therapist several times, but he doesn't have any appts. til way after the holidays. This time of year is rough on a lot of people. Oh well, such it is.

4 days ago · Klonopin in Depression & Anxiety

I've been on Klonopin for about 5 years and mostly what I notice is some extra sleepiness and a bit of a balance problem. abby

6 days ago · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

I can't thank you all enough for sharing your struggles and hearts with me. Knowing I'm not alone in these feelings makes them so much more bearable. Sometimes I think I believe I'm the only one going through this. Yes, I did get a note back from my X about the book …. it was actually very gentle (I think he knows I'm falling apart) and he told me he'd just like to have a good, friendly, relationship with me. With a clearer thinking mind this morning, I realize just how much this Bipolar 2 affects me. When I see my Psychiatrist I'm going to talk to him about it. Maybe a change in meds. is necessary. The coming on of winter doesn't help either …. my most dreaded season.
I realize that every morning it's hard to get out of bed, and it's not because I'm tired ….. I just don't want to face another day. But, when you have pets, you have to get up ….. that's a good thing……it pushes me to get up and get moving.
One thing my X did tell me was that there apparently is a group in the area called "People meeting People" which is for new residents. I'm going to find out about that and if it sounds like me, I'm going to give it a try.
I think a change in churches is in order too, but I won't go into all that.
I just want to thank you all for your help. Just knowing you all are there, and I have a place to go when those black times come, is a real comfort to me.

Sat, Nov 9 4:38pm · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

Hi marjou …. Fall and Winter are always difficult for me …. this sounds pretty morbid but I call Fall-death, and Winter is the tomb. I know how morbid that is but it's how I've felt for years. My x-husband only lives 25 min. from me and now has a girlfriend. That is really painful, even though we're divorced. I didn't ask for alimony because I had a large inheritance at the time, but, got caught up in a ponzi scheme and now I really have a tight budget. If it weren't for my son helping me out, I wouldn't make it. I hate the thought of living like this the rest of my life, but it is what it is. I'm sick of people saying "volunteer" ….. I just don't have the energy to do anything, some days even get out of bed. If it weren't for my dog I probably wouldn't. I don't have any friends down here except a lady at church, but she's very private and "stiff" if you know what I mean. My therapist I went to for 14 years is 3-1/2 hrs. away and busy, busy, busy, so I doubt he has much time for old clients. I wrote for an appt. and he didn't have any opening til Feb. I know the holidays are a busy time for them. I see my Psychiatrist every 4 months for about 10-15 min. which doesn't give much time to talk. Oh how I wish I had never moved down to this awful place. abby

Sat, Nov 2 11:58pm · ~ Knee Replacement ~ in Joint Replacements

Hi all ….. About 6 years ago I had a knee replacement. For some reason it didn't work out and even though the doctor tried everything from extracting fluid to injecting some other material … nothing helped. So about a year later I had a revision. That worked much better. I still have trouble with it though when I get out of a chair …. that's when I can feel the ache. Also, when it rains, my knee is a great barometer. Now the other knee is acting up and I'm dealing with it with Motrin when it's more sore …. and this is another barometer too. I've decided that if I ever have to have the other one done, which may be, I'm going back to the doctor who did the first one. He is in Frederick, MD, and I moved to Stanton, VA 4 years ago. The doctor that did the surgery is the best one in the whole area up there (Frederick is outside of D.C.), and I'm familiar with his methods. And, I loved the rehab. place where I went. So, we'll see what happens …… I know my kids won't be happy if I go up there (my 2 girls live down here and my son is in Alexandria, VA., but it's my body.
So we'll see what happens in the future.

Sat, Nov 2 11:39pm · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

Hi Ginger …. I'm so glad to hear that you went through the same thing I'm going through right now. Actually, it lasted about 3-4 days and now it's gone. I figure, in time, if she's at all smart, she'll pick up the N-ism in time …. after all, he is the King!.

Wed, Oct 30 3:49pm · ~IBS~ in Digestive Health

I just had a colonoscopy 2 months ago so I know there's nothing really wrong. But everytime I get overly stressed I wind up with what I think is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I get diahrea, abdominal pain – gas like – and when it hits, I've got to get to the bathroom pronto! I usually don't go anywhere on those days. It only lasts about a half day or a day, but on those days I wear a Depends, just in case I don't make it. After the spell is over, my abdomon feels as though it's been purged. I do have Bipolar 2, and when stress hits, this is how it manifests itself. I usually take Immodium – I only need 1 or 2, but it really leaves me dragging. I just want to lay down and sleep.
Any suggestions on anything else to do besides what I'm doing?

Wed, Oct 30 12:19pm · ~ Depressed and scared ~ in Mental Health

10/30/2019…… Hi everyone … well I'm back again …. it seems I'm forever running into some sort of garbage to throw me off. My therapist told me a few years ago that "it's easier if a spouse dies than there is a long-term marriage and then a divorce." I thought he was nuts. Well, now you know I'm in VA, only about 25 miles from where my X lives, which has been hard enough. But, now I find out that he has a "companion" ….. i.e. girlfriend. Now mind you, I divorced him – he was and I imagine still is a narcissist, and before I moved here I had a real life. But, now that I know he has a girlfriend, something in my head and heart feels thrown away again …. this has always been the way of life for me …. as a child, teen, and adult, and then him …. worthless, to be thrown away. I'm really struggling with this although I know he and I are both free to do what we want. But somehow it just stings and hurts. Thanks for listening.