Hi John …. yes, I still have Ginger. She's adorable, but wow, she's into everything. She'll be 1 on the 25th of this month.
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Well, it's whiney me again …. nothing has gone right since I moved down here. Can't settle in a church that "fits." No friends …. still can't find a job – it's age, I'm sure, I only see my girls occasionally, pinch every penny to make it through the month, dislike the apt. complex I'm in – it's low-income which comes with a lot of problems, and out of the blue – the other night I was watching a program with Gretchen Carlson (I forget the name of the program), but it was about how many women have been sexually abused, and don't realize it at the time because it was way before this was ever talked about. BINGO! All of a sudden a whole new door opened up and all this garbage came flowing through my mind …. remembrances of 1971 …. it was someone I totally trusted, and being "young and dumb" didn't realize how he was "priming" me with expensive gifts, compliments," and things I can't go into. I hate living here, but whats done is done, but I sure wish I'd have never left MD.
Hi Teresa …. great post! I have 2 totally different experiences …. I'll try to keep them short. I was an only child raised in a totally alcoholic home …. my whole maternal side were alcoholics. My mother always seems to hate me, be a problem to her, always in the way, and her favorite name for me was "you rotten little SOB." I hid a lot, got locked in closets, dragged to bars (not lounges … nasty bars) every weekend, and just generally was mocked and set up for ridicule every chance they could get. My father also was an alcoholic but had very little to do in my life …. I was "the great disappointment " ….. I should have been a boy. My mother died at 60 years old from alcoholism and esophogeal hemorrage, and my father died about 10 years ago from Alzheimers. Being the only kid, I was the one responsible for seeing that they were in the best place and got the best care. When they both died, I felt nothing ….. I did not shed one tear. I just went through the motions … I didn't know them, and they didn't care one whit about me. In therapy, after about 10 years, it came to me that my mother just did what was done to her … I saw her in my mind as a little girl with a tough Scotch woman as a mother raised in rural Cape Breton Island. That really softened me up quite a bit to her, but still no grief.
Ten years ago I got divorced, after a 40 year marriage to a Narcissist who belittled everything I said, did, wore. I thought it was "normal" as that was the way I was treated in my family's home. Well, during therapy and the reading of several books, I realized it was NOT good and NOT healthy for me. So, after 4 years of struggle to get him into marriage therapy, I realized he had not one good thing to say about me except I was a good mother. Now I'm not belittling that at all, but it showed he had no clue who I was at all. We got divorced, and all during this time – about 6 years of pain, I grieved, cried, couldn't believe he thought so little of me, and even had a breakdown. Thank God for a wonderful therapist who walked me through years and years of that terrible time, and for the Psychiatrist who helped me with the anxiety and depression. I now feel free, have moved near my girls (which has been tough in itself), but I have freedom for the first time in my life. I am NOT stupid, I CAN make my own decisions, and I WAS a good mother, as shown by my 3 kids.
Hi Lisa ….. I've heard that any type of Cocker Spaniel is very stubborn and strong willed …. I can attest to that with my Cockalier. I had rescued a Cavie about 10 years ago from a rescue group who snatched them from puppy mills (Molly was 4 when I got her) and she was so timid and shy that she'd curl up in a little ball and just stare around., The Vet said he thought she'd had at least 4 litters of pups. Well, she became my "forever friend" and when I had to put her down, due to stage 5 heart problems, it took a long time to get over it. I really wanted another one but didn't have the money for one nor did I want to go through the heart situation again. Plus Molly's pancreas was totally non-functioning so she had to take pills for that her whole life. After about 6-8 monhs I still had not been able to get passed missing Molly and kept combing the internet for a rescue … even called the rescue group where I got her …. none there at that time.
So, last May my daughters said to me, "hey Mom, let's go for a ride." It was a nice day and I was ready for some fresh air. We drove, and drove, and drove – for 3 hours! I said, "what in the world are we doing, where are we going?" All they said was "you'll see." We pulled into a parking lot on the VA/TN line and sat there for several minutes. Next thing we knew a white SUV pulled up, a woman came out holding this tiny Cockalier all wrapped in a fleece blanket. My heart just melted. That little face ….. I can still see it (in bigger form of courrse!). Here my 3 kids had gone together and gotten me a Cockalier. One of them had researched them and breeders are trying to breed the heart problems out of the Cavies, thus they mate a Cavalier with a Cocker Spaniel and get the Cockalier.
And I should even think about Frederick anymore? I don't think so.
Re. the job ….. I have a neighbor who works at the local private psychiatric hospital and she said that each department is always looking for receptionists. So, I redid my resume', my daughter printed it out for me – 25 copies. I'll give her half to give to the dept. heads and I'll take some to our local hospital which is also set up with receptionists in each department.. Then I'll just have to see.
So, the card doesn't help me escape "that" machine???? Ye Gads. Well, guess it doesn't matter because I'm one of those strange people who has never flown and don't intend to. I know …. I hear you screaming ….. just call me "chicken."
Yes, I still have my zippy puppy ….. Ginger. She is a cross between a cocker spaniel and a Cavalier King Charles. They are trying to breed the inevitable heart problems out of the Cavaliers by mixing the two. Ginger's both parents were Cockaliers … the mix.
She's a pip. She'll be 1 this month. Sweet puppy, but still poops on the floor. Oh my ……