When my daughter was at the Rochester Mayo there were people there from all walks of life and from all over the planet.. I say you go for it but do get a referral from your doctor.
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Try looking into your state’s health insurance pool. It will usually have letters like MHIP for Missouri Health Pool. If you have been turned for the right reasons they will sign you up. it will not be cheap but what insurance it. So far it has been great for my daughter who suffers a lot of nerve pain.
My total hysterectomy has caused me bone pain that led to ruptured back discs, and I swear; it caused my osteoarthritis. There is an organization call her or hers. They have proof that hysterectomies cause a lot of issues involved with pain. Don’t give up, but please watch the pain med use. DON’T OVERDUE IT..
I think you need therapy. It really helps to get rid of the emotions and pain you are going through yourself. I talked out a lot of issues when I became a caregiver for both parents. My daughter also needs a lot of help. Get help both for yourself and to take care of him. There are plenty of info out there. I think there is even a caregivers website.