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Oct 28, 2011 · Broken Hearted, What can I do? in Women's Health

one thing i think you should a point of doing is being there for yourself. take care of yourself while you are outside of your home, and do things to make the inner you be ok with you. i think, could be completely wrong and dont hesitate to tell me if i am, your husband carries a lot of baggage with him from his home life growing up. his anger could stem from dissatisfaction with his upbringing, and the fact that he felt that he is illegitimate as a person for not being able to right wrongs that were out of his control growing up. and if that is the case, he needs to address those issues. one cannot be there for another if they cannot be there for oneself, and at this point, it seems that your husband is hurt too much by his past to try and address it. you must realize that behind his anger, there is probably a lament for a troubled past (child). that is not by any means to justify his abuse of you, not in the least bit. but it may make it easier for you to understand his gross anger in realizing that his childhood was probably a highly dysfunctional one. but you will never know unless HE decides to open up about it. maybe you could try speaking with your husband about his past when he is in one of his better mood swings. if you feel that love still remains for your husband and that a go can still be made in marraige, try to converse with him and see if he might open up a little bit about his past. if he does not show any willingness to change, i think you owe it to yourself to contemplate how you want to live the rest of your life. complacent and succumbing to his will, or assertive for your own happiness. itd be optimal for you and your husband to be happy together, but i think at this point, he has to have a talk with his inner child and bring it back to you. also i believe a clear conscience is the only way to live, but especially in a situation like this. you might do well to reflect upon your own behavior in your marraige, and see if there is anything you could improve upon. not to say that anything you may have done warrants a fat lip, but if you were to convey a few of your own shortcomings in attempting to discuss your husbands life with him, he may be more apt to open up. i could be absolutely wrong, but i hope i helped at least on a limited basis. be well and best of luck to you and your go in this beautiful, painful thing we call life 🙂