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Mon, Jan 20 6:57am · So tired of being stuck... in Depression & Anxiety

@jimhd thank you for sharing your struggles with me. I am touched and heartfully sympathetic. We are not alone are we. I am Type 1 diabetic, and I’ve read that it is very common to have both conditions.
I don’t know what it all means, but to take each day as it comes and to not give up. One small step at a time, as others here have mentioned.

Sun, Jan 19 4:57pm · So tired of being stuck... in Depression & Anxiety

Ah! This is the quagmire of depression. I don’t anticipate. —pause—. liking —doing much of anything. Do you know what I find to be blissful?! Laying down on my bed. In complete repose. And drifting off to sleep. I do understand what you mean though. There are a lot of societal norms we do that we hate, without giving ourselves permission to stop doing them. I’m at the point now, where I need to replace them with something. And I can’t figure out with what! So much is the result of being the offspring of narcissistic parents. That I failed to develop an understanding of what “I want” is because it was shut down, early, in order to nurture what Others want. So the hurdle I am facing is a truly a difficult one. But I am so grateful to find support from you and others here. At MayoClinic Connect. It IS giving me strength. I can feel it!

Sun, Jan 19 4:40pm · So tired of being stuck... in Depression & Anxiety

Daphne, I have seriously considered doing ECT. I did the electro/magnetic thingy (I forget the initials). Nope. Nada. I do appreciate your input. It reassures me that it’s not as scary as I imagine. You are so helpful by sharing this with me. I may select this down the road.

Fri, Jan 17 11:14am · So tired of being stuck... in Depression & Anxiety

Jon, your 2 cents is a fortune, for someone who is completely broke (pun intended)! I’m encouraged with lots of possibilities now to investigate with my psychiatrist.

Fri, Jan 17 9:00am · So tired of being stuck... in Depression & Anxiety

Thank you @johnhans You’re post was very positive! And encouraging! Grateful for the knowledge that my older body may just not be digesting enough of the medication. I am going to schedule another appt with psychiatrist to see if we can find a solution. Last time he doubled my Pristiq dose and I didn’t like how it made me feel (headaches). I am a bit fearful of ‘mind’ meds…but if they could ‘lift’ the terrible oppression, as Prozac did when I was first medicated 30 years ago, I would take anything!!

Fri, Jan 17 8:48am · So tired of being stuck... in Depression & Anxiety

Thank you Chris for the sensitive response. I have gifts. Kindness. A reverence for Beauty, in all forms. And I have skills. What I lack is energy to create a purpose for myself. No confidence. Often and easily discouraged. Afraid to start down a path and find it joyless. I need a mentor. (I taught high school English; I’m a good writer; I speak Spanish; I’m a competitive tennis player; I have an artistic “eye” for design; I am intellectual and deep philosophically). 😊

Thu, Jan 16 9:33pm · So tired of being stuck... in Depression & Anxiety

Hello. I’m new. I’ve managed my depression, for the most part, most of my life. Mainly by doing. But now, at 62, I’m deemed anti-depressant resistant, and so so stuck. I can’t figure out what to do with myself. I go round and round, considering options, but find myself unable to take the steps necessary. Even easy things, like going to the movies, is too hard. (…nothing I want to see; I don’t want to go by myself; I feel I’m imposing to ask someone, yadda yadda …). I am just wasting my years. And that’s so tragic. Some days are just so so painful. I sleep a lot on many days. Other days I try to ‘kill time’ by reading or watching tv, or long crossword puzzles. My outings are to the grocery store and pharmacy. I have a psychiatrist that bounces me from medication to medication, most of which don’t work. I am on Pristiq now which keeps my head above water, on good days. I want to become someone my two sons and my husband can be proud of. And I’m descending into nothing but a picture of a weak and crippled being. I hate it. But I can’t find help. I’ve been to psych therapist…but my current insurance has terrible ones and I keep explaining I need a real psychologist with experience and solutions. It feels like there is nowhere to go for help. Is there no cure for this terrible condition??!!