@djangomay, Thank you for your wonderful caregiving of your wife with her progressing Alzheimers and also for your many efforts to seek out options to help both her and you. Every primary caregiver needs some respite from the 24/7 task. Applause to you for continuing to find other options for her as her illness progressed and capabilities decreased.
This had me nodding my head vigorously in agreement: "When I was faced with finding the best care options for Christine, I scoured all the local resources online and in person. I went to the county Center for Aging and discovered that I probably knew more about the resources available than the adviser who met with me. I also discovered that the Center for Aging was expert in finding appropriate solutions for families with few resources who were eligible for Medicaid. If you were neither rich nor poor like our family, you were pretty much on your own." This was so true for me and probably millions of other caregivers as well.
With the numbers of aging Americans increasing rapidly, the need for more help and resources is more important than ever. Yet, as you write: "We had to learn pretty much everything the hard way –on our own." The stress and strain of daily caregiving can take a woeful toll on the caregiver.
As @IndianaScott shared: " I also gave up trying to get things perfect and 'good enough' became my mantra as I juggled all the demands of caregiving, work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc."
@jlm1980, My wish for you as you lovingly take on the daily care of your beloved grandmother is that you will make it a priority to take some time out for respite care of yourself. Sending you best wishes as you and your grandmother begin this new journey together.