My wife has had arachnoiditis for over 25 years. Our HMO doctor referred her to the HMO Pain Clinic. This will be the 5th pain clinic she is sent to. It's like Molikai, i.e. doctors are afraid of her and don't know what to do. Sort of like putting her on the Island with others who have the same condition. It's what they did to lepers in Hawaii.. She wants to die so badly but loves the grandchildren so much and they adore her.. She was on Meperidine and it's now off the market. IT was the only med that helped her live reasonably and now? We've been married for 48 years and are still intensely in love and care for each other always. We see the pain clinic doc on Wednesday and we both feel sick to our stomachs. Her story is a horror and too long to discuss. She needs the Demerol which helps enough to hang in there. The HMO will not provide it. She is allergic to everything else. I heard the Mayo deals with it without fear but, again, we are stuck with the HMO we can afford. She is on palliative care because hospice only deals with short term death. When she dies, I call the morgue. What can we do? What can we say?