@stparker54. My heart is breaking for you. I felt like you when I first received my cancer diagnosis. I was in shock and my thoughts kept returning to how much time I had left. My treatment was at Mayo Clinic-Rochester and they have a huge support network for cancer survivors. I'm not sure what they have online right now but I'm thinking much of what Mayo Clinic has in group support and with therapists has gone online. Are you located in an area with a cancer center? What resources are available to you? I hope you have support from your loved ones and friends however I also hope you have or will have a therapist you can talk with. I will keep you in my prayers.