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Posts (73)

5 days ago · Tips for Parents/Guardians Quarantined with LGBTQ+ Children in COVID-19

@fiesty76 I'm glad to hear you found it helpful!

5 days ago · Tips for Parents/Guardians Quarantined with LGBTQ+ Children in COVID-19


Here it is! Note that not all of these suggestions (such as going for a hike/walk) are feasible for everyone given different quarantine circumstances particularly in different parts of the world and if you're self-quarantining. I have family and friends in South Africa and India who are not able to go for a walk/hike in their current lockdown circumstances.

But this post is awesome and thought-provoking for those who find themselves in this situation, whether they are the parent or the child.

Wishing everybody good health and peace of mind.

5 days ago · Tips for Parents/Guardians Quarantined with LGBTQ+ Children in COVID-19

Trans entrepreneur Marli Washington had a fantastic post sharing tips and activities for parents and guardians quarantined with queer children that I'll share with you all below.

Sat, Mar 28 10:59am · Apple watch to monitor heart in Heart Rhythm Conditions

@nene22 I've been using the Apple watch for a while, and it's been useful in step-counting and setting daily movement goals as I've been trying to walk more lately. I'm honestly still getting a grip on it + using it more consistently but it's cool to hear about how receptive it's been for others.

You'll need an iPhone (5s or newer) to pair with the Apple watch during your setup process. Here some more info: https://www.lifewire.com/can-you-use-apple-watch-with-ipad-1994095

Tue, Mar 3 3:41am · Family support for LGBT children in Mental Health

@gingerw That's so true! It's unfortunately not that often that parents of trans kids will be as publicly supportive as the Wade family. Many parents may accept their children but won't go out to say, "Hey, this is my kid. She's trans, and I stand behind her unwaveringly. Also, she's got a lot of other qualities to be admired!"

@lisalucier Yes totally! It happens all the time to trans folks and it happens to me personally on the regular. And I think it's a really important think for allies to engage with, so I'm so glad you brought this up. Your trans friend/family member/partner/etc. is likely more concerned about the genuine effort and intention as opposed to whether you 'get' their correct pronouns/name right away. Most trans folks, like myself, will generally have lots of people in their life who know their correct pronouns (or name) but actively choose not to respect them. The reason for this can be that these people think it's too difficult, they don't believe that being trans is real or valid, etc. But if you're trying, it's really not a big deal if you mess up every once in a while. Just apologize, correct yourself to convey that you know this person's pronouns/name and you intend to respect them (correcting yourself aloud also sends a message to other people who may have heard you misgender this person so they don't misgender the person as well as a result of your mistake), and move on.

And one big thing I want to add to this is, just because you shouldn't be hard on yourself about when you mess up doesn't mean you shouldn't make a genuine effort to try to learn the individual's name and pronouns. If you care about the trans person and/or if you're interested in becoming a better ally, you can practice using the individual's correct name and pronouns when they're not around.

Here are two ways to do so: 1) ask someone to be your accountability partner, and to correct you when you mess up someone's pronouns or name (I did this when I was first learning and it was so helpful! My friend would correct me and I would correct her when we used the wrong pronouns for our mutual friend, and it really *worked*!), 2) practice on your own – speak about the trans person in your life to yourself while you're alone. Just simple sentences that include their name/pronouns! If you do this regularly, you'll get the hang of it.

Everyone has their own methods. An actor from the show Pose, Indya Moore (they/them pronouns), developed an accountability system with agents at their talent agency. Whenever someone accidentally misgenders them, that person has to put some money in a jar. Indya said the cash will be donated to organizations that support Black trans and gender non-conforming individuals, which is a really cool initiative, I think!

@hopeful33250 I really appreciate you sharing that, and for being an active ally. It would be awesome if some gay/queer/trans members of your church partook in these discussions, as it will bring more diverse perspectives which we can definitely use. The community is not a monolith, but one thing I think many of us can agree on is that LGBTQ+ people could use some more health advocacy in and out of formal healthcare spaces. Please do feel free to follow up with me on that and let anyone know they should feel free to connect with me personally if they'd like.

Wed, Feb 19 4:59am · Family support for LGBT children in Mental Health

As an update to my previous post about Dwayne Wade's child, Wade had an interview with Ellen Degeneres recently when he spoke about his child's journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG9-Q6UabfQ

Wade's child has expressed to her father that she is a trans girl, would like to be referred to with the name Zaya, and uses she/her pronouns. Since this, Wade has begun referring to his daughter as Zaya (rather than Zion, her given name) and using the correct pronouns when speaking about her.

It can be difficult for our loved ones, but it is crucial for the mental health of trans children for parents to be supportive and curious. Switching our use of pronouns from what we are used to (in this case, he/him pronouns) to what is most affirming for our trans children (she/her pronouns for Zaya) is a process which requires flexibility, maturity, humility, and an open mind.

Wed, Feb 5 5:10am · Family support for LGBT children in Mental Health

Since it's Children's Mental Health Week, I wanted to share this post from the brilliant and bold British activist and writer, Monroe Bergdorf: https://www.instagram.com/p/B8Hl9hzgK70/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

Here it is if you have trouble with the link:

"Create and support inclusive environments that hold space for ALL children as they are, not as they are expected to be.

If a child tells you that they're trans, listen to them, ask them what they need from you as an adult. Support them. Encourage them to be themselves. Make them feel proud to be who they are. There is nothing wrong with your child saying that they are trans, because there is nothing wrong with being trans. In shutting them down, you are sending a message that there is.

Transgender infants are not having sexual reassignment surgeries. That is not a thing. That has never been a thing. Unless those children are also Intersex, in which case they may experience surgeries – something that many intersex activists are campaigning to stop as standard practice for all intersex babies. Please see @intersexjusticeproject, @pidgeo_n, @rivergallo and @interact_adv for more information on that.

Supporting and encouraging a trans kid can consist of as much or as little as they need. From allowing them to dress differently, to taking an interest in their true interests, to changing their pronouns or name if they ask you to, to not policing the length of their hair, to letting them decorate their room in a way that reflects how they feel… Just listen to them, let them know that you are listening to them.

The worst thing we can do is expose that child to shame. Making a child feel ashamed to be trans won't make it go away. It won't give you the child that you want, you'll just end up with an unhappy one. Don't be your kids first bully. Believe trans kids.