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State/Province
NW

Country of Residence
Australia

Health Interests
Caregivers, Children's and teen's health issues, Healthy Living, Mental health disorders, Neurology (brain and nervous system), Women's health issues

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Posts (7)

Thu, Apr 11 4:32am · Selfharm in Mental Health

Hi everyone,
I know it’s been a little while but I thought I’d check in. The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I spent the past 2 weekends in the Mental Health Unit, the second time because I selfharmed and tried to overdose on my medication. I’m feeling exhausted.

I feel like I’ve tried so hard and for so long…. but I need someone to be there for me, to comfort me, to support me. I can’t do it on my own. But there is no one.

I’m scared. In my head I’m screaming for help but I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there is anything I can do. My family care about me but they aren’t capable of providing the comfort and support I need. I have a lot of “friends” (people from work, gym, TAFE etc) but no one I am close to. I’m desperately alone and desperately trying to keep my head above water while my hope is slowly fading.

I’m doing mindfulness, distracting myself, going to the gym, doing stuff I enjoy… but I feel like it’s all futile. I’m alone and adrift in the ocean of life.

I can call Lifeline but it’s not the same. I need a person HERE, someone I can see and feel and touch.

I can be kept safe while I’m hospitalised but it still doesn’t solve the underlying issue…

I’m alone.

Wed, Apr 3 12:12am · Can I go cold turkey on Quetiapine (Seroquel) 100mg? in Mental Health

@parus @hopeful33250 Thankyou for your replies.Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you both! I am continuing on 100mg quetiapine at the moment. I have spoken with a Community Health psychiatrist who recommended I stay on the quetiapine at the moment. He agreed that withdrawing abruptly is not a good idea!

Fri, Mar 22 1:34am · Selfharm in Mental Health

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies. I am coping a bit better at the moment. I made a long post not long ago but it hasn't appeared. I'm unsure if it is being moderated or if it failed to be sent. If it doesn't work, I'll post again later.

Wed, Mar 20 4:29am · Selfharm in Mental Health

@suscros68 I do use help lines when I get really scared. The problem is sometimes… I don’t want to. It’s like I rebel against my sensible self when I’m emotionally overwhelmed.

Just to clarify, the psychiatrist was a one-off appointment requested by my doctor as a review. I’m definitely not seeing that psychiatrist again though!

I do see a psychologist fortnightly whom I connect with really well. That’s been helping although I still feel awkward and tend to avoid talking about suicidal thoughts and or going into detail about selfharm.

Sometimes I find writing down my thoughts and then giving it to my psych helps me communicate… maybe I will write something before our session this week.

Wed, Mar 20 1:48am · Selfharm in Mental Health

@lisalucier Thankyou for your reply and for moving my post.

I’m not sure. Sometimes I think the only reason I’m not dead is because I can’t think of a way to end my life painlessly and with 99% chance of success.

There have been times when I’m driving that I’ve pulled over because I was terrified I would deliberately crash. But even though the urge was there and strong, there was still a voice in my head saying “What if you survive? You can’t afford a new car. It would be so embarrassing. What if you ended up disabled?”

I definitely have thoughts of suicide and suicidal urges.

I definitely self harm.

But is it really a suicide attempt when I self harm and it hurts too much for me too cut deeper? When I know the chances are I won’t be able to do it? When part of me is hoping someone will find me? When I’m screaming in my head for some kind of escape from this pain?

This question has been bothering me for a while. Then today I had an appointment with a psychiatrist that my doctor referred me to, for review. I didn’t like the psych as he was quite abrupt and I felt was rude. He said that what I did was not a suicide attempt and I should not use the word suicide. That if I’d really wanted to commit suicide I would have cut my throat or jumped off a bridge.

His instant reaction and reply shocked me, and to be honest, made me feel guilty, humiliated and ashamed.

Tue, Mar 19 11:44pm · Can I go cold turkey on Quetiapine (Seroquel) 100mg? in Mental Health

I’m currently taking Quetiapine (also known as Seroquel) 100mg each night. I have depression and anxiety but it’s supposed to help me sleep.

I just had an appointment with a psychiatrist referred by my doctor. He seems pushy and I don’t like or trust him. He wants me to quit Quetiapine.

I want to stop taking it because I think the recent dosage increase has caused suicidal thoughts. Should I just go cold turkey? Can Quetiapine make me more suicidal? Will quitting make me more suicidal?

Tue, Mar 19 11:41pm · Selfharm in Mental Health

I have selfharmed for a long time. On a few occasions I have selfharmed because of suicidal thoughts. This caused me to cut a vein in my arm, imagining I would bleed out. However, I knew 99% chance I wouldn’t die and couldn’t imagine myself being successful. I wanted to be found? Am I attention seeking? Is it a suicide attempt or me being suicidal or is it just selfharm?