I know it’s been a little while but I thought I’d check in. The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I spent the past 2 weekends in the Mental Health Unit, the second time because I selfharmed and tried to overdose on my medication. I’m feeling exhausted.
I feel like I’ve tried so hard and for so long…. but I need someone to be there for me, to comfort me, to support me. I can’t do it on my own. But there is no one.
I’m scared. In my head I’m screaming for help but I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there is anything I can do. My family care about me but they aren’t capable of providing the comfort and support I need. I have a lot of “friends” (people from work, gym, TAFE etc) but no one I am close to. I’m desperately alone and desperately trying to keep my head above water while my hope is slowly fading.
I’m doing mindfulness, distracting myself, going to the gym, doing stuff I enjoy… but I feel like it’s all futile. I’m alone and adrift in the ocean of life.
I can call Lifeline but it’s not the same. I need a person HERE, someone I can see and feel and touch.
I can be kept safe while I’m hospitalised but it still doesn’t solve the underlying issue…