Don't be scared. People go off benzos all the time without significant problems. Your doctor will be able to help you. Just do not stop or alter your dosage until you and you doctor have decided to do so.
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What you are experiencing in the morning is ativan withdrawal, not your normal anxiety. Klonopin is a longer acting benzo but very very hard to come off of. I know my father ended up in the ICU from Klonopin withdrawal. So just know that once you go on it long term it is very hard to get off a benzo. Also, because of the short half life of Ativan you begin withdrawal about 4 to 6 hour after taking it.
I have gone through Ativan withdrawal. I am 6 months out after going cold turkey. I do not advise going cold turkey if you do decide to go off the Ativan.
Wanted to update you all. I have not had my EEG as of yet but I may have accidentally figured out what is going on with me. The other night I caught a show on CNN about Benzos. I was on a Benzo for months and went off cold turkey about 7 months ago. Everything I have gone through since can be explained by benzo withdrawal. Right down to the fasciculations. Good news is that I am absolutely getting better as time goes on. I really had no idea that was what my problem was.
I don't know what type of seizure is was but I do not before that happened I was having a cluster of episodes back to back and then bam, it was like I was run over by a truck. My memory is really fuzzy, I remember feeling like everything was moving around me. I recall the doctor trying to get me to respond to him and I could not talk. I was out of it.
She has not mentioned much and we still need to do an EEG, this is all very preliminary. There are some lesions that show on the MRI but she is not sure if they are related. She is actually going off a video I captured last month.
My episodes start with either an unusual smell or sensations. then followed by sudden extreme fear. Sometimes I jump up and start randomly walking but they do not last very long, maybe 30 seconds to a minute but sometimes I have them multiple times a day and I wake up in the night with them feeling like I am spinning. It's very very strange and hard to explain everything I am feeling.
Unfortunately these short episodes are sometimes followed by much stronger attacks that leaves me incapacitated, disoriented, unable to make sense of my surrounding and overwhelmed with a host of physical sensations. I once even urinated on myself and another time fell out of the shower and was hauled out of my house buck naked in the dead of winter by EMT. Fun times:(