I pray that all of you are able to defuse your own personal tension and mine the depths of your love to get you through each day. You are already living out your grief, which is part of your daily pain. It helps to know this. Know that you really can't control anyone else, only love and help them to the best of your ability (which is often never enough). My wife had vascular dementia and in the last few years became a "rage-a-holic" – a situation that at times was hardly tolerable. At times, I had to lock myself in a room. Near the end she was beating doors and walls, throwing things, pulling knives, stabbing furniture and taking her therapy dog on mystery drives around town, professing to search for the police to report my ill treatment of her dog, which was in her mind. It was nothing less than the worse that I could imagine. In the end, I earned the support of the community and the police, which helped to take away some of the heartrending agony, self-doubt, and the feelings of guilt of never being able to do enough. You must forgive yourself for being human, and take a measure of healing in knowing that you are able to truly help, when few others would, or could. In the end, you have and continue to supply what is required in the moment.