I've been 90% of where you are with family divorce, mentally ill wife, alone, no sleep, too much work. Those are probably more damage to day to day memory recall. For me epilepsy started at 22ish, off/on without drugs until 30 all the time. I'm 64 and just now starting to relax a bit about recall, how my hair looks in the grocery store, see Sundance's response for some of aging and understanding of it. You said "stop trying". That can be applied to a few of what you are naming. It took several months and years to get over the issues going on with my pre-teenage kids when I had them for every other weekend and Wednesdays. Police, courts and attorneys started in around 13-14 years to 25 years. I could go on but the ex-wife relationship since divorce 25 years ago has been no more than 2 paragraphs on any subject, and it took me a few years to realize just how much for the best.
You are maxed out. When I was, and I'm a caretaker like you, maxed I had to pick which things I was going to deal with and which would NOT BE under any circumstances. I was out of time in a day and when you are, they all start failing, and less sleep to go with. Tired epileptics have all kinds of memory failures. You may not feel welcomed to the gang, or want to be, but it's the same as old men with hair in their ears, it will happen. Now I pay someone $14 once every 3 weeks to pull it out with a wax/gell/plastic. It's a cheap fix to how I feel in the grocery store about my ears but pick your interior battles and items that will help you fix your current things. So when picking which you will NOT BE dealing with, do one at a time, the easiest ones because you can watch with some success, giving a positive attitude to continue with others. But, you'll never get them all and don't try to. Do not sell this to yourself as a ticket to being lazy, because if some items fail you will define yourself as a failure. Sleep and water and the time it takes to do them is mandatory like pants and shoes.
Very cool that your daughter is in there with you. Young people can grow short on help and understanding since their lives are starting, so if it slacks later some of it is because of age not love or caring about you.
On recall, I had my best neurologist explain that the difference, in my case anyway, in recall from a normal person(?) is that they both save "new incoming info" with the same ability. In our case picture a globe with 100 windows on it, windows with access to memory. On ours, some windows open intermittently, which s important because the window is the problem, not your inability to get the window open or remember. I find 30-40% of the time some of those windows do open (sometimes just a few minutes/things at a time) unfortunately not always with someone around to appreciate). Think of someones demand for your recall as the amount of time a car salesman has to spend on you, when you are in the dealership. He's in a hurry to get you to spend money, and will pressure you for a response, but knows how to keep you engaged with him to get what he wants, until he knows there is not going to be a sale. Same scene is your wife (or any other) wanting to keep you engaged long enough to get your memory on a topic, but, not very long. Once you can't she will go on to forget it or stay be frustrated. Frustration stays longer because you are not salesman and wife, and stay in the same house likely to forget again. I don't think of my wife as a saleswoman but I do avoid getting into or starting a conversation that will may require my memory. Sometimes in a conversation the memory kicks in before the demand because pieces of the conversation allow building Legos to get to a memory, before conversation is over. In any case, I excuse their inability in my mind as, it's the best that they can do, they just don't know it, and may never, which is excusable even if they don't try, because memory for them is a given, no work, they haven't experienced the panic, and you wouldn't wish it on them, and again, they just don't know it.
Enough of my book. For memory, little 15-30 min naps are a big deal, anytime in the day, in the car if you have to for 5 min. Too much demand for memory damages recall, for more. Panic in any situation causes people to do things they normally wouldn't do. Ask any good police officer if that is true. It's part of their training for dealing with panicked people behavior. Don't get yourself into panic. It will take you and our gang longer to get out of it.