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Apr 8, 2018 · Always calling out for help while in bed in Caregivers: Dementia

I have the same problem with my 98 year old Mom. The only difference is that she does it in the early morning — around 4 or 5 a.m. And instead of saying "Help" she simply calls my name. And as with your mom, once I'm there she'll tell me she's okay but then will forget and call me again as soon as I'm gone. It drives me nuts. It does seem, however, that if you give her something to eat –a banana, say– she'll calm down and fall back to sleep.

Mar 18, 2018 · Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself in Caregivers

Dear Scott, Thank you for your warm greeting! I am always impressed by people who are able to reach out and give support to people they have never met before. As Blanche says in A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." I agree with you that our society is becoming more and more atomized, and that our sense of community has eroded. One has to look hard to find spaces where people share concern for one another. Kudos to you, Kanaaz and the rest of your colleagues for running this site!

Mar 18, 2018 · Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself in Caregivers

Hi Tammi, My heart goes out to you. Can you describe what your support system is like? Do you have friends, neighbors or relatives who can help you out? Are you connected to a church or other religious organization? Do you have insurance, and if so, does it cover home health? Physical therapy? Mental health? Ben

Mar 18, 2018 · Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself in Caregivers

Thank you Kanaaz for your rich and detailed reply! I do think that in this era of globalization, when family members can be spread far and wide not only between states or countries but even by continents, it is hard to maintain caregiving customs and patterns which evolved over centuries. In the Indian context, what happens if the "privileged" eldest son is an engineer in Silicon Valley and the parents are in Mumbai? Does the responsibility then transfer to those who are living closer to the parents? Also, one would imagine that caregiving responsibilities would be to some extent apportioned to the amount of time individuals have available– i.e. if an adult child is single, presumably he/she would have more time to devote to the aging parents than siblings with families of their own. Finally, if it is assumed that a woman moves in with her in-laws after marriage, what degree of power and responsibility does she have in making decisions about taking care of her in-laws? Is she accorded the same status as the in-laws' own offspring?

Mar 17, 2018 · Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself in Caregivers

Hello Everyone, My name is Ben. I live in Los Angeles with my 98 year old mother. I'm her primary caregiver, although I have some hired help who assist me and an older brother who lives near San Francisco who flies down once every couple of months. Mom's health has been, overall pretty good. She has A-Fib and is too thin, but is able to eat and drink and carry a conversation. She can walk the length of the house with a walker and a great deal of assistance, but is unable to dress or bathe herself. We're a Chinese family– luckily, we live in an area where there are alot of Chinese restaurants and supermarkets nearby, and I've been able to hire help who can cook Chinese dishes and speak to her in Cantonese. I'm looking forward to joining this group and sharing experiences. I'm particularly interested in hearing from folks of different ethnic backgrounds and exploring cultural and generational factors in caregiving.