@jezzy– Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. And thank you for sharing your eye-opening journey. Many of us do have possible underlying causes for SOB but as yet have not found the connection. Learning to "control" the times at its worst must feel like you've climbed Mt. Everest! Being grounded is a means of controlling yourself that is so essential to good health and self-care. There are many exercises that can help with this, and here are a few.
Sometimes I don't even realize how uptight I am and when I finally do I am beyond just sitting down and putting my feet on the ground and calming myself. What has worked the best for you?