Yes, almost all week I’ve felt this way. It makes me feel bad because I am not very easy to get along with when it happens
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You explained it better than I could have, thank you.
It really does take up so much energy to understand what you may have done wrong, even when people say that it has nothing to do with you. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one facing these problems.
My ODD causes me to have angry outbursts where everything pisses me off. I’m having one of those moments and I feel like a terrible person. Every little thing is getting to me. The static noise. The TV in the backround. My heartbeat. Voices, slow internet, message rings. I feel like I’m going crazy and my anxiety is through the roof, I can’t stop crying.. I don’t want this anymore I just want to be happy
Thank you. I’ll be sure to bring up the genetic testing to my doctor as I really am growing sick of experimentally trying medicines.
Also, I’d like to say think you for shedding some light on the thoughts behind what happens. My mind moves so fast that I can’t grasp the things that are flooding it. I wish you the best at your appointment!
First I will answer your dashed questions. I have been on the lexipro for about two and a half months, I was on tenex before that and adderall before the tenex. I did not start with the full dose, I took only 5mg a day for about a week and am now on a still relatively small dosage of 10mg. Within my first month of taking lexipro, my fear of the man was at a high point, almost as bad as when I was still in my trauma area. He would mostly appear when I would try to sleep, resulting in panic attacks and several days without any sleep and migraines. He still appears now, but only about twice a week. Whenever I see him, I can hear the shuffling of his footsteps in the corner and the gleam of a knife and I’m terrified I will die. During the time that I’ve been taking lexipro I’ve also noticed that my heart rate is always higher, especially at night. I should probably try yoga, that seems like a good calming activity for me to try!
Thank you for the support Gail. I went through child abuse for eight years. It was difficult enough because the new woman in the house I was supposed to treat as my mother would invalidate my feelings and there were several instances of physical abuse. I have scars on my forearm from manicured nails and I can always hear the screams and curses of them in my head. I feel that my head is a very violent place sometimes. I mainly went through verbal and physical abuse, and because of always having to walk on eggshells as not to anger anyone, I am always nervous about nearly everything I do. I always feel that I am being watched, and I am so used to people being mad at me that I am hyper sensitive to people’s faces and tones and will think in a split second that they are angry with me. It truly is tiring keeping this mental state, but it feels that I can’t leave it.