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Jan 24, 2018 · Ok so I am new to this .. ok so I'm starting to feel like crap again in Just Want to Talk

Hi Mike, you sound exactly like my boyfriend. He has bipolar depression, migraines that make him through up, diarrhea from stress, PTSD, ADD, IED (Intermittent explosive disorder-blows up screaming at the top of his lungs angry in seconds), and his eyesight is constantly changing, and is 46. I would also add thief, pathological liar, and the sweetest guy I have ever known. He will do anything to help somebody out. He has been alone for the last 15 years because he blows up so quickly. He has no self esteem, people treat him like crap, steal from him, and he wants so badly to have them as a friend he puts up with it. He has only within the last 12 months been diagnosed with bipolar and was started on meds, and they seemed to help immensely at first. Then it was like he wasn’t taking anything at all. I have literally seen him watch the same movie over and over for days, like 3-7, depending on the depression. So they had to change his meds. The first thing the dr. told him when they met was that he was the fastest talker the dr. had ever met. Put him on lithium and he noticed the difference the next morning. His mind FINALLY slowed down so he could have a normal speed conversation.
He was doing ok, and then I got a job 4 hrs. away and he has gone down hill since. He even got caught up in using methamphetamine for the bipolar. I haven’t seen him since August when he was arrested for dealing meth out of my home, along with stealing most of my stuff and buying more meth with the money he gets. He has truly hit rock bottom, he has lost his home, his dog, his community respect, no one will hire him cause he was shooting up and he is a cook, everything is lost. He is so ashamed of himself he will not talk to me anymore. But I still love him and will wait to see if he will contact me. He does not have a phone, and the area he lives in is a tourist place so the area does not pay very good. If he wanted to, he could get a hold of me. I feel so awful for him.
I am afraid you sound just like him. Also he did not follow through with the counseling. That is critical to learn how to handle different situations and how to deal with the depression. Some people have suggested going for a walk. They are right. It is a small step, but you will start to feel better just from that. I have major depression also and it helps me immensely. Good luck.

Jan 16, 2018 · Loss and Grief: How are you doing? in Loss & Grief

My mother just passed away this last weekend, Jan 13, 2018. I must not be handling it well cause all I want to do is eat chocolate and sleep. She smoked her entire life, and in the last 10 years got very little exercise. She had an office chair that she would roll around in in the kitchen. Rarely did she walk anywhere, only to the bathroom and bed. She had such a hard time getting enough air (COPD) and it scared her when she couldn’t catch her breath. I am about 3 hrs away for the last 18 months, so we didn’t spend a lot of time together, but we did talk a lot on the phone. Towards the end that was hard too cause you can’t breath you can’t talk. I kept telling her she needed to get up and walk, but she wouldn’t. So now at 57 I will never be able to talk to her again. Its not that she gave me such stellar advice, it was just that I had someone to listen to me. I have not made any close friends here (Rochester, MN) but I have people at work to talk to, but you have to be careful what you tell them too. I don’t want things spread all over the place. So I mostly talk to my little dog. He always has time to listen to me, his Mama. Mom and I both have depression. I hate this feeling of being alone. It is worse now. I cry at every little thing. Like I am not even taking my medicine. But I am. Is this crying, feeling sorry for myself. Is this how my life will be now. I hate crying, but some days I can’t seem to stop. My daughter said it best. She said it comes in waves. I have lived so long suffering with “waves” of depression, I don’t know if I a am strong enough to bear this too.