I am not what you might call genetically born strong, but I learn that if I have to survive the cards I was dealt. I needed to find the strength to deal with our son's 7 open heart surgery from congenital Heart defect, to deal with 3 strokes he had 2 of them during long procedures, deal with his neurological challenges up to this days that he lives with us at age 42. But I learned that I can only do the best I can, I cannot change realities that are not in my control, and therefore most important not to see myself as a victim,. I can feel what you say about going through some difficult time, specially that your beloved husband passed away, but you are an individual by yourself, if your husband can see you in your despair, I am sure he would want you to go on with your life, find happiness in what you have, and dont look constantly at how you wish your life was or could have been. Broken back of your son, or issues with your grandchildren, or even your daughter's stroke, all those are emotionally challenging, but not in your control, and you are not emotionally responsible for everything around you. At this stage of life you are responsible for your wellbeing, and the younger member of your Family should worry for your wellbeing. Using big words like Depression are not useful, unless you were diagnosed by a psychiatrist, and even then things can be kept in control with the right therapy and or medication. When you wake up tomorrow morning, take a deep breath, and think positively about what you can do about having a good day tomorrow, despite your "worries". Think about planning something to look forward to for next week, and for next month, forget the bad mood that you associate with depression, make friends, go on a cruise, fill your life with enough positive, so that the scale of the balance of your life will lift the positive side, to at least equal and with time to surpass the temporarily negative side of your life balance.