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Sun, Jun 30 1:47pm · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

@dorisena You are a dedicated learner. While knowledge is power, that same knowledge can be very depressing. This is all the more the case when you really can't do much with it. That happens when the intended benefactor rejects everything; also when knowledge does not lead to improving things.

Sat, Jun 29 3:38pm · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

Thank you, Dorisena,. for your words of wisdom. As most people in these situations know, they give rise to a lot of guilt.

Sat, Jun 29 12:00pm · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

@debbraw Good suggestions, which I would love to implement. Problem is–no family agreement. My sister will die for him, if that's what it comes to. If I drop out, that will happen. Indeed, there are support services, but my brother will not allow or accept anything. I used to go over and clean his apartment. Then he changed the locks and shut me out. So my sister is paying for maid service.

Sat, Jun 29 11:53am · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

@dorisena I think enabling involves the risk of actually teaching someone that anything he does is OK, whether it hurts him or hurts another person. No caregiver or relative should encourage this kind of action, if at all possible.

Sat, Jun 29 9:20am · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

@hoprful33250- Thank you, it's good to have some support for my thoughts. Everything is overshadowed by the mingling of theology into a practical matter. I am indeed a Christian, but I just think that enabling is not the best way to go.

Sat, Jun 29 9:14am · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

Thank you, Indiana Scott, for your thoughtful response. No he does not take meds, thinks there is nothing wrong. OTOH, there is no chance I can extricate myself from his care. As I said, another sibling thinks this is a religious duty (You are your brother's keeper). If I attempt to separate, she will take over everything and it will destroy her life. She admits that he "killed our mother," but "he couldn't help it." No one ever expected him to do anything or take responsibility. Now the problem is 40 years of enabling.

Sat, Jun 29 9:03am · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

@indiana Scott I believe that the drugs for diabetes can cause schizophrenia, so probably dementia also. (

Sat, Jun 29 6:21am · Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer's in Caregivers

HELP !! I have a brother diagnosed with schizophrenia , in denial for 40 years now. He went through college, grad school, and law school; practiced law for 30 years. Lived in a pig-sty, lived off credit cards, didn't pay taxes. etc etc We have picked up the pieces endlessly, paid back taxes and credit cards. Now "retired," he is only getting worse. We support him, and in return he is abusive (verbally). Made himself diabetic through terrible eating habits. Now he is becoming physically impaired as well as mentally. We are now older and just can't take it anymore. Another close relative tells us that taking care of him beyond financially (no matter how bad it gets), is a "test from God." It seems to me that a man who has 3 advanced academic degrees and (however badly) practiced law for 30 years, has some responsibility for himself. Any opinions or suggestions will be welcome.