Thanks Curly. It is helpful to just hear someone else say that it is important to have leisure activities. Life is short and I feel it slipping it away.
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Mina, I think that I need to read this post every day for a while! You are right that I feel that it is never enough and I do more. It is hard to actually take care of myself. My mother, in particular, comes right out and says that I shouldn't have any leisure activities when she is unable to do so herself. That is a tough one to deal with. She cries sometimes when I leave her with a caregiver just to go to work and gets angry when I leave her with a caregiver for a pleasurable activity. My dad with Alzheimer's is actually the easier one to deal with although it is heartbreaking to see him as he is.
JoDee, thank you for your concern. I am not sure that my parents would qualify for assisted living as they need quite a bit of hands on care – not to mention the resistance my mother has to leaving our home. You are right that I do need to consider the options.
I am an only child caring for both my parents. They live with me. I do not have a spouse or children. My 83 yo dad has Alzheimer’s and my 80 yo mom has multiple chronic conditions. She has fallen 3 times in less than 2 years with one broken hip and one major wound requiring surgical repair. They now require someone with them 24/7. I employ caregivers when I am at work and for a few hours when I am off so that I can grocery shop, etc. I have not had a vacation in 12 years. I went part time so that I could have more time to take them to medical appointments and take care of business. I do not want to quit work since it is my only escape from the house most days. I do not ever have time to myself in my own home. I am 57 and concerned that I will get Alzheimer’s myself in a few years and will have missed out on a big portion of my life. Just needed to vent, I suppose, but would appreciate any words of wisdom from anyone out there in a similar situation.
My dad tried namenda but it changed his personality and “dulled” him. He engaged with others mich less than beforem His neurologist said that it is a psychoactive drug and can change personalities in some patients. He returned to his normal personality and just stayed on aricept.