Thank you, my friend. Yes. We feel deeply. But hearing back from friends like you helps.
Love and hugs,
Allergies, Autoimmune diseases, Bone, joint, and muscle disorders, Chronic pain, Digestive disorders, Ear, nose and throat disorders, Healthy Aging, Healthy Living, Immune disorders, Mental health disorders, Neurology (brain and nervous system), Other
I am hoping that my daughter has the wherewithal to gather her things and go stay with her other friend, who has said she could stay there. My husband has his feet up and is watching some science video on YouTube.com. My other daughter messaged me while we were at Krogers to tell me that their older fur baby, Lex, an English Bulldog, might be dying.
My Grandson bought a Christmas card for his other Grandmother. She hasn't cared to see him in two years. She preferred her drug using son over our Grandson. He wants to just put it in her door, rather than mail it. He deserves so much better than all that.
Yet, there is still joy. Not everyone is going to love us, act right, or treat us right. But there is still joy. One just has to know where to look for it .
Love and lighr,
So now I guess some of you are in the camp of "Thats"the worst story I've ever heard!" Or even more to the point, "How can she do that to her own child?"
And I would agree with you. It is terrible to have to say no when you want to say yes with every fiber of your being. But yes is not the answer when one is being manipulated. There's that element to contend wuth.
It is very difficult to have to .plan ahead, to give yourself time and space, in order to help your adult child meet their needs. Especially if there has been a lifetime of drug abuse and recovery. Over and over.
Especially when you are protecting a young child who simply needs to be a child. Free from adult issues. That young child has grown to be a young man. Right here, with us.
When someone is able to do some things for themselves, and you repeatedly manage that for them, trust me…trouble lies ahead.
Yes, she would do well perhaps in a group home. But there is that little matter of choice. She will not go. She is waiting on an apartment.
Reality in this world is not often pretty. There are good and bad times And lots of in between times. Times where you listen to all the doctors and therapists and lawyers and police officers…and then you make the best decisions that you can, with faith in someone higher than you.
Life is hard. No doubt about it. But life is good, too. I mostly concentrate on the good. But sometimes you have to be real.
Love and light,
Having a family member with multiple mental health issues, when they don't realize how their behavior affects others.
That is the most difficult issue I have at the moment.
My disabled daughter has been here since 2:30. The goal was to wash a load of her clothes, dry and fold them. I prepared dinner and saw to her needs as best I could while keeping up with my homemaking duties
She had multiple episodes of anxiety and sickness, which only aggravated her mood disorders to the point my husband could barely be civil. He basically stayed in the background while she continued with her monologue. Loud and persistant. She is frustrated and upset because she lives with a friend who also has many problems. She would rather live here with us. But my husband will not allow it. For good reasons.
It is difficult to have to admit, but it would not be a good decision for her to move back in with us. She requires constant help with even the simplest things. I love my daughter, but it would not be fair to her son who lives with us. He is a teenager. He has lived with us his whole life. It's just sad, really.
She comes across as demanding. She just doesnt understand. She relies on us whenever she visits for the least little things. She is very dependant on us. She has some cognitive impairment from past substance abuse.
So at 9:45 pm my guys take her back to where she is staying. Her friend may not let her in. Maybe that's why everything took so long today. By dragging her feet, she made it quite possible that we would have to let her stay the night.
She only had a few things to do here. But it took her 7 hours to do it.
I'm tired. Maybe we can talk some more another time, @lisalucier .
It's not easy being a mom of an adult who has so much going in. I'd be happy to do it if it helped her. But we have to draw the line somewhere or we are enabling
Tommorow will be a better day….
My friend has been to more doctors than you can shake a stick at since June of this year. He has paralysis, drop foot, anemia, had a stroke, coded in ICU, MRI showed a lump. Pre diabetic. Blood pressure went over 200 in ICU. Lyme ruled out. Vasculitis. They don’t know where to turn. @johnbishop, @colleenyoung, @lisalucier …c you help?
2 days ago · What Do We Do When We Cannot Change Our Loved Ones? in Just Want to Talk
Howdy, Pardners, out there in Mayo Clinic Connect Land. How are y'all today?
Here in North Alabama some of us are expecting a dusting of snow, which will utterly delight the little ones! Us older folks, not so much.
Boundaries. We all have them. We all SHOULD have them, especially when it concerns the behavior we will tolerate from others. Now, don't get too upset at me for the all caps.
I rarely use all caps. It is considered very rude to speak entirely in all caps. It raises our blood pressure, stress level, and is a trigger for all kinds of emotional disasters!
But I do so in this rarest of instances to simply state that we must not turn into doormats this holiday season. Yes, we are strong. Yes, we are grounded. Yes, we are mature adults who can handle almost any situation that is thrown our way. But….
But, should we have to? Certainly we wish to be kind and loving to everyone we know. Right? Isn't that what Mr. Rogers was trying to teach us?
Yes, we need to have a certain kind of love and respect for every single person who is placed in our lives. Unfortunately, not everyone has gotten that memo. And that is where we begin this conversation.
What do we do, just how are we supposed to show kindness and respect when some of our crew don't think like we do about such matters? Can we actually change them , mold them, fashion them into the kind of person we want to spend our time with? And if so, just how do we go about that?
Please humor this visual learner. Can you give me some visual pictures of that? What does changing another person for the better look like?
Or should we even try? What is really going on here?
Love you big,
3 days ago · What Do We Do When We Cannot Change Our Loved Ones? in Just Want to Talk
Hello everyone. I am asking a question about all those family members that we all seem to have. Those annoying, wierd, dysfunctionsl, boring, ridiculous relatives that share our DNA and our lives. On the other hand, at times we choose not to include these people in our family gatherings. And regret our decision later.So we invite them over again. Only to be disappointed. Again.
What do we do? On every hand, we are bombarded with tv and movie displays of joyous family gatherings. Commercials and even lessons for schoolchildren promote the idea that we are family, by golly. And family not only sticks together, they get together. Frequently. So what are we good citizens of this ever-changing world expected to do?
I have a few ideas on this. Bear with me. I promise not to make you feel guilty, whatever you decide to do for your particular clan.
So join me in this holiday quest for truth regarding our in-laws and outlaws. I hope you will find a chuckle here and there. Maybe a good story, or a verse from a well read book, to help you on your way .
Jingle bell joy and love to you,
3 days ago · Cellulitis and Sepsis just released from the hospital in Skin Health
Dearest @cindylb, I apologize for not getting back with you sooner! We were on the road Saturday but I was still able to get a lengthy reply to your posting…until I edited it. The entire message disappeared. I was so frustrated.
I figure it was some glitch with my phone. Grrr.
I just want to say thank you once again for sharing your concerns here in this place.
Even when you don't think anyone is reading your posts, trust me, they are.
Not everyone is at that point where they feel comfortable posting. Or "liking."
I am not done researching what I can find. We had an extended family member to pass away. And another relative ended up in the hospital due to the stress of the funeral. Another family member is failing. Due to mental health issues. So I have a lot going on. Doing what I can. Time for self care.
I look forward to sharing with each other once,again on this very important subject. Take good care of you, and Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, whichever applies!
Love and light,