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Posts (70)

5 days ago · Caregiver for husband with Parkinson's and Lewey body dementia in Caregivers

I am with you. I and my husband have been married 64 years and had five children. He is now 89 and has been in a care center for almost 2 years. It is very hard to see this vibrant man unable to do anything except feed himself and even then finger food works best. He still knows family and friends but sleeps most of the time. The care center is 45 miles from our home and I visit every other day. He knows I am there but then dozes until I wake him to leave. So hard. Just one day at a time and I try to keep busy with activities and friends at home.

5 days ago · Caregiver for husband with Parkinson's and Lewey body dementia in Caregivers

Yes, I agree with Scott. My husband had hallucinations and delusions and arguing only produced agitation, so best to just agree or try to eliminate the source of the hallucination. My husband insisted the neighbor was flashing lights at him. I discovered it was the wind blowing the bird feeder and the street light was shining off that. No amount of trying to explain to him so I just removed the birdfeeder and that eliminated the problem. Sometimes just agreeing and going on is best.

Thu, May 9 8:38pm · Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) Lou Gehrig’s disease in Caregivers

Glad things are going better. It is a rough road and we never know where the journey will take us. Take care.

Thu, May 9 10:21am · Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) Lou Gehrig’s disease in Caregivers

Your suggestion of asking the Dr to talk with him is a good one. I was so concerned on how we were going to get the car keys from my husband, but at a Dr
s visit she was informed that he had blacked out a couple times for a very short time, and she called me aside to say he shouldn't be driving. I told her to tell him and he never offered or tried to drive again. He had his driver's license yet and would tell people that he could still drive, but he never tried to.

Thu, May 9 10:06am · Handling Ups and Downs in Marriage and other relationships in Depression & Anxiety

I feel this topic is very relevant. Having been married for 64 years and have a husband of 89 years, I know there are a lot of issues that can be discussed to help others deal with the change in the relationship with a spouse Alzheimer's does not give you any instructions on how to deal with mood changes and personality changes of the one you have loved and lived with for so long. We all need a space too vent.

This privacy issue is going too far. If you don't like the topic, just delete. The person sending the message is just needing to vent and know that others out there are experiencing some of the same issues. As for names, do you realize how many people in the US and world may have the same name as you?? As a genealogist, I have found it happen many times and they are not necessarily related. There are no locations named unless the correspondent includes that so don't worry. Just don't visit the list if you feel uncomfortable.

Mon, Apr 22 6:42pm · Dementia - Drugs to Ease Anxiety in Caregivers

Yes, there are medications that help to control the hallucinations and delusions. My husband also had them. Contact a psychiatrist for help.

Tue, Apr 16 10:03am · When the stuff hits the fan in Caregivers

Scott's reply is right on. We can't fix things but just be there and let her know that you will always be with her. Some times words aren't enough, and we must find actions that will help tell our loved ones what words can't express.

I try to find things that I and my husband can enjoy together and since music was a big source of relaxation for him, I always arrange to be at the care center when a music program is scheduled to be sure he attends with me. If they ask him is he want to go, he will say "no", but I don't give him the choice. I just say we are going and he always enjoys it.

I know your situation is a little different, but is she confined to your home? If not, just trying to get her out a few days a week if it is only a short drive, may help. And it helps you, too, as you are helping her. Try to find something you can enjoy together.

Sun, Apr 14 8:00pm · When the stuff hits the fan in Caregivers

I highly recommend 'Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief' by Harriet Hodgson, M.A. & Lois E. Karen, M.D. I have shared with the grief support group at my church and the Alzheimer’s group at a local nursing home.

This helped me come to terms with the knowledge that my husband who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia about four years ago might live several more years, slowly loosing more of his mental ability. He is already needing skilled care as he is unable to do any thing except feed himself. His speech is getting more garbled and is difficult to understand. As I deal with the personality changes that he has gone through these last years, I needed understanding to deal with the man I used to know and the one that I continue to love now. Finding my healing path and following the healing steps listed at the end of the book helped me to not feel so guilty about taking time for "me".