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Posts (91)

Tue, Aug 20 3:17pm · Weary in Caregivers

I know what you mean about being stretched thin, not that my life is the same, but I am dealing with a husband with Alzheimer's Disease and vascular dementia who has been in a care center for over 2 years that is 45 miles from our home. I visit every other day. My youngest son, age 60, has been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's disease and although I don't have his direct care to be concerned with, it is still a concern and I try to help as much as possible. He is unable to work and is waiting for his SS disability to be approved. The government works very, very slowly and he has had to resubmit much paper work and jump through many hurdles with the help of his spouse. I hope this is approved soon. He has contacted our US Senators and has engaged an attorney but the wait is still hard. It shouldn't have to be this way.
I could go on but I won't burden you will all that has happened in the past year in my family. Almost too much. I almost want to say "If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all".

Take one day at a time, and the suggestions made by others will help you through. Family and friends are useful at this time. Don't be afraid to ask them. They are just waiting for suggestions on how they might help.

Thu, Jul 25 5:45pm · Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted. in Caregivers

I informed my 3 sons and a daughter about 2 years ago when their father entered the care center, that I did not want any fighting when he and I were gone. If there was a disagreement, they should "draw straws" to see who would get the first choice. My brother and sister did that when my mother passed. Then we could trade with each other if they had something that we wanted and vice versa.

I asked my children to let me know if there were particular things they wanted as I had several pieces of furniture which were either made by my father or had been handed down through the generations for over a hundred years. The pieces are marked so that after I no longer have a use for them, they will go to the person choosing them. We have to remember we will not live forever and we must make it as easy as possible for family members when we are gone. I have helped clean out 4 homes of family members when they could no longer live in them or had died. I do not want to leave that to my children.

Thu, Jul 25 11:30am · Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted. in Caregivers

Maybe you aren't interested in sharing your thoughts and experiences now, but having them written for future generations will be great. We can't ask our grandparents and great grandparents those questions we wish we could have while they were living, but we can read their diaries, letters and other writing they may have done. I am so thankful my mother, grandmother, and aunt were great diarists as well as letter writers and my mother very patiently saved all of that for us.

Mon, Jul 22 12:12pm · Facing Frustrating Odds in Caregivers

Just a word of wisdom?? to those who feel alone or wonder if they are doing the right thing. I cared for him at home about 3 years before my family and I decided I could no longer do it. I am 84 this next week, and he was unable to walk over 6 feet with his walker, and at 80 I was loading his wheelchair in our car every time we left the house.

My church family, DAR sisters, other people who are in organizations that I belonged to and had to set a side while caring for my husband while he was still home with me, were great listeners and givers of support while we have been traveling this journey for about 5 years now. He is now in a wonderful care center in a small town about 45 miles from my home, but I am able to visit every other day, and although he sleeps most of the time I am there, I know he is well cared for. I have been able to go back to meeting with my friends at least once a month for lunch with a couple groups and I try to attend church every week even on the days I visit him. They are great support and gives me a little respite from the cares that could overwhelm me.

I also have always maintained hobbies, sewing, quilting, genealogy, reading, etc. even when I was teaching full time, and when I retired I did visit some places without my husband if he had no interest in them. I'm glad I was able to do that and we both enjoyed may places together. They are always good memories.

He is 89 and has been at the care center for over 2 years now, so I am living a slightly different life, but enjoy each day as it comes.

Mon, Jul 22 11:10am · LGTB Caregivers in Caregivers

I am the mother & grandmother of gay men. It pains me to see what they sometimes must endure from the public. Unfortunately the smaller towns here in Iowa are not as accepting, but our larger areas do have more facilities to help them with their heath needs. My son told the Dr. upfront when he went to see him a couple years ago, that he was gay and it that was a problem he would go elsewhere. My son has been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's Disease and is trying to get his Social Security disability approved. It is a long process and he has contacted our Iowa Senators for assistance. I hope it is approved soon.

Thu, Jul 18 9:43am · Caring for Mother: She doesn't trust my care. Suggestions? in Caregivers

You might ask Dr to tell her that as it worked when the Dr said my husband should no longer drive. I knew if I or a family member said anything he would ignore it.

Mon, Jul 8 7:28pm · Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted. in Caregivers

I was very fortunate as my mother liked to write and she was a great letter writer and keep many of the letters she received through the years. I have been scanning them to make sure they get passed around. She also left stories of her and my father's early life, which are very interesting. I was 6 years old when WWII started and I remember it as a child. I asked my mother to write what she experienced with ration books and shortages, as her experiences were much different than mine. I ran across that a short time ago, and it will be another keeper for our family.

Fri, Jul 5 9:44am · Veteran Friend has Tremors and Stutters in Caregivers

Contact your US senators. They are able to expedite requests. They need to know what is happening in VA.