I am with you. I and my husband have been married 64 years and had five children. He is now 89 and has been in a care center for almost 2 years. It is very hard to see this vibrant man unable to do anything except feed himself and even then finger food works best. He still knows family and friends but sleeps most of the time. The care center is 45 miles from our home and I visit every other day. He knows I am there but then dozes until I wake him to leave. So hard. Just one day at a time and I try to keep busy with activities and friends at home.