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6 days ago · Long-term caregiving: need a place to vent in Caregivers

I like the new title as some of us have years of caregiving ahead even though not physical cares. My husband has been in a care center for 2 years the middle of May. I no longer have do the physical caregiving, but emotionally I still need some bolstering at times. It is so hard to see a formerly very physically active person no longer able to do anything accept feed himself. And even then most of it lands on the bib or his lap. He is so independent that he resents any suggestion that anyone help him. I was there to visit today and the director followed me into the building saying she had just returned Des Moines and they were now limiting visiting to only essential visits since they have a flu patient at the home. She did let me in to see him for a few minutes. Last year it started like this and they were under quarantine for a total of about 3 weeks before we were able to visit. His 89th birthday is next Sunday and we were planning a family gathering with cake and ice cream but I guess that is off as of now. The director suggested I call before trying to visit again. It is 45 miles from our home, so I will surely do that. just one day at a time.

Wed, Feb 27 7:33pm · I badly need your help!! Father refusing to drink water in Caregivers

My husband was not a big water drinker and I used watermelon, fruit juices, etc, to encourage him to get enough fluids.

Mon, Feb 11 5:47pm · Weary in Caregivers

Scott, you are a treasure here. You have such good advice for others and even are able to see some joy through the tears and frustrations.

Sat, Jan 26 3:42pm · Help for dealing with personality disorder in family member in Mental Health

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My daughter is BiPolar and it has taken about 20 years for her to finally get meds adjusted so she is able to function on a daily basis. She gave up her drivers license about 15 years ago, and is now able to live in her own home, and is getting along pretty well. Be sure your daughter continues with the psychiatrist and therapist. Ann is still visiting with them about every 3 months and probably will for the rest of her life.

I would take the suicide threat very seriously and be sure to contact her therapist and workers about it. They may be able to help you. I also lost a daughter to suicide about 40 years ago from postpartum depression. That is another long story. My prayers are with you.

Fri, Jan 25 4:31pm · Weary in Caregivers

Scott, as I was reading your memory of STP, I thought your were going to mention Geritol. That is the advertised drug I remember that was supposed to relieve everything except "do the breakfast dishes." We need a little humor every now and then. Remember it is easier to laugh than to cry.

Fri, Jan 25 4:25pm · Weary in Caregivers

You are dealing with overload like most of us are at times. Take a deep breath, keep your friends close, and take them up on it when they offer help even if you aren't sure. Find a support group near you and they can be a great help. This is a great place for encouragement. We are always here for each other.

Thu, Jan 24 7:02pm · Weary in Caregivers

You're past year sounds like mine. I just do one day at a time, and I'm praying that this coming year will be better.

Thu, Jan 24 10:19am · Logopenic Progressive Aphasia in Caregivers

It takes time. I tried to never tell my husband goodby but since we have a small dog, Suzie, I would just tell him I had to take care of Suzie and I would be back soon. He accepted that. He still mentions going home but is not insistent about it and I just move over it with something else or we have to wait a while. It is too cold, or raining, or any other excuse. He forgets about it soon and we go on. He has been in a care center for almost 2 years and I still never say goodby. Just use the "Suzie care" excuse. Sometimes we have to stretch the truth a little and that is okay.