I am so sorry for your loss. It stands to reason that you would have such major grief losing a daughter who was so close to you. The fact that her death was so unexpected has compounded the difficulty of accepting the reality. This is still fresh and painful in a way only time can address. Have you learned of any grief groups in your area? How do you feel about grief counseling? While it would be helpful and meaningful to have friends at times like this, even that sometimes isn't enough. It is encouraging that you are able to reach out for help, because there is help available for you. Specialists can help you identify your own particular needs, and those things that are most possible to help you going forward. Do not hesitate to see your primary care physician. In addition to helping you make healthy choices, you may find that perhaps medication will help you maximize your efforts to care for yourself. Sometimes our thinking doesn't even make sense, as wanting the pain to stop, yet not wanting that at the same time. I once thought the pain of loss was what helped me maintain my memories. Not true, but at one moment it made all the sense in the world. Good luck to you in finding what you need, Know there just isn't a "normal grief" path where one size fits all. And remember how you have recovered from grief in your past, for this is the same in that respect. You will be okay. Not the same, but okay. Please be gentle with yourself as you find your best path. Thank you for trusting yourself and the Connect community. Will you let us know how you are doing as you find your way?