You Look Good

Better than hearing, "My God, you look like crap! Did the cancer reach your face?"

This is so common. People don’t realize how even very serious prostate cancer can show no outward signs. I’ve had it for 15 years and the only thing people notice is I occasionally get hot flashes.

Yes, they mean well and in society where "looks" are one of the most important things I would not expect people not judging appearance and assessing the extent of a disease. It is very shallow thing to do, of course, but it is what it is. Also, most people are not acquainted with cancer and it's forms and effects and they mostly see people with cancer in movies and soaps represented as very emaciated and that is how majority of cancer patients look like while going through chemo and radiation. Patients with PC are lucky that they have so many treatments available that are not so taxing on body and that they can stay active and "look good". Other people see PC patient jogging and looking good and think "oh, that is great sign" and want to share feeling of hope and giving encouragement.

Regarding "seeing only cancer" - that is inevitable. Cancer is scary word and scary condition and not even we who deal with it can ignore it , how can people around us ? Of course they know that you are much more than that, but "THAT" is what is determining factor for survival and there is nothing more important in human mind than that. Try not to take it personally and take it as compliment and encouragement since it is nothing more nor less than just that. 👍😊

Exactly why we are very selective in who we tell about our situation. Others mean well but see you completely differently when the C word comes up. Not to mention I have two sisters-in-law who specialize in gossip.

Stew80, this makes me laugh.
I don't get those comments because I didn't tell anyone about my cancer.
But I'm not flattered by "You look good, for your age."
They are telling you that they care about you and that they remember this detail about your health.
I translate everything all the time to protect myself.
I've determined that no one can say the right thing about cancer or death.
What would you say to an friend, years, and years later, about their cancer.
I'd say nothing.

"I translate everything all the time to protect myself". This is great advice! We all have to get through the day, the hour, the minute and having the right mental attitude is a big part of it.