Supporting 50-yo mom

Posted by pdx @pdx, Jul 10 10:39am

Hi - this is my first time posting one of these.

My mom has intense back pain (supposedly from “flaking” spine bone, not herniated discs or similar).

Anyways, she happens to be fat and not open to WL discussions - especially since there seems to be mixed empirical evidence of it even helping that much. She’s followed all other doc advice - going to PT, the ER, and trying non-opioid medicines.

Docs refuse to operate on her or prescribe necessary meds. She has intense guilt about being a “drug seeker”, but there doesn’t seem to be any other options.

Does anyone have any advice?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Osteoporosis & Bone Health Support Group.

laura1970 | @laura1970 | Jul 11 3:33am

If the doctor is unwilling to discuss treatment of her pain I suggest a second opinion in conjunction with her primary care physician

beanieone | @beanieone | Jul 11 8:45am

Hi,

You don’t mention your mother’s other health conditions, etc, but if I read your post correctly, you may be misinformed about empirical evidence that losing excess body fat may not be effective. Your mom feels guilty about “drug seeking” but unwilling to discuss weight loss which sounds like a first step. Try picking up a 16-pack of water (about 16 pounds) and carrying it up a flight of stairs…you’ll be surprised at the strain it puts on one’s body.

I’ve had several compression fractures, several of which were extremely painful; I consulted with a spinal surgeon about them - they were not operable and, just like the doc said, subsequently healed on their own. Bone flaking, while likely painful, should heal as well.

I applaud you for helping your mom and wish you the best. Feel free to post on this board for info and support. Cheers!

happilyalive | @happilyalive | Jul 13 11:49am

Hi, Thank you for seeking help for your Mom. She is very blessed to have you on her side. For many people who are overweight the topic of people giving information to them regarding weight loss makes them feel like they are being attacked verbally. They begin to push back against it. Instead of focusing on weight loss then I have learned in working with others to just focus on them becoming more healthy. There are little ways to begin this change such as just introducing a new fruit or vegetable into the diet while also beginning to eliminate a bad food or beverage. Help her to celebrate where she is now by purchasing something new at the weight that she is now. She is special the way she is now and with who she is now. Let her know that you want to spend time with her and maybe just sit outside together while drinking something great like a flavored water or whatever the two of you choose. Begin the journey with her and become her support partner by doing some changes with her. It will bring both of you closer and yet healthier at the same time. She will want to focus on you and hopefully join some of your healthy routines. Let us know how it's going and thank you for being there for her. Have a blessed day.