Stereotactic biopsy in the morning

Hi! Betty:

I am so sorry that you are going through this;( For my heart goes out to you and prayers for you upon reading this post, my friend...

I know this is very hard to wait, but please know that you'll never be alone, for our thoughts and prayers are with you. Pray for the wisdom, comfort and peace of mind coming from above for you and your care team.

Wishing you the best on the journey ahead!

Hi Betty--your thoughts and feelings aren't "pathetic." They are real, and shared by many people. I'm going to focus on what helped me. First off, Mayo Connect! So stick with us, and I'm glad you posted. I think the period of diagnosis, when you don't know what is happening, can be the hardest. Hopefully you don't have cancer, but either way, this is a very anxious and confusing time. I found that my friends seemed the most helpless when I was getting diagnosed. I was pretty annoyed at first at being told "it's nothing, blah blah" because people were afraid to face it with me. When it turned out I did have cancer, most of them shaped up and were supportive. But there is no way to know with other people. So I did some things for myself--meditate, walk, read, garden, go to some live music, and try to enjoy myself any way I could. What are things you enjoy that are low-key and accessible to you? Journaling helped me--and if I was too tense to write I'd draw. I also am doing psychotherapy, which find helpful although not everyone's cup of tea. Consider a little treat for yourself once the biopsy is done? And tell us what is happening. I'll be thinking of you.

Betty,
Come back today and share with us. I also had friends like that so i started my breast cancer journey only tell a few who listened. My older sister covered her ears when i said i was having a mastectomy. Four years after that i have most people never ask me anything. No check ins. Nothing. I have2support groups with the original people i told. I have a younger sister i do speak to. If you do not even have one or two you can reach out to, come back and we will provide hope and encouragement. This virtual world here in Mayo as real people from all over. Your tough journey over all these years is real and I care like so many others that you be heard.

Oh Betty, I am so very sorry to hear your anguish and despair. Alone, in the quiet of the night, one's fears can be overwhelming. And the waiting to know what you are dealing with is the worst! I am 72 and my kids and family are 2000 miles from my home. They lead busy lives with work and their own growing families. Yes, I would like to hear from them more frequently but I also understand. I've shared my situation with very few people and have been surprised at the differing levels of response. Those I wouldn't have expected have taken a keen interest, while others I did expect to be an attentive ear (my daughter) have shown halting interest.
Due to another illness and losing confidence in my driving abilities, I have pretty much lost any social life but am working to alleviate that.
If you have transportation, are you able to leave your home? Are you affiliated with a local church? Or a women's group, reading club, Gilda's Club? There are Zoom programs available that may be specific to your needs.
I am pretty newly diagnosed (March) and have barely scratched the surface of learning the many resources available. I also have an autoimmune disease where information and support is sparse. Comparatively. that's certainly not the situation with cancer support! In my limited experience, those of us who are newly thrown into this melee aren't ready to hear the cliqued "you've got this" when the intricacies of a diagnosis aren't even known yet!
I hope today's biopsy went ok. Try not to get ahead of yourself before receiving your results. Please keep in touch.
Laura

I was really perplexed and hurt that my closest family did not check on me when I was diagnosed and throughout treatment. After reaching out a few times I accepted the situation, but it didn’t keep me from turning the issue over and over in my head to try to figure out if it was my fault they were not communicating with me. Sigh.

It’s amazing that I found a few women that provided some support (a neighbor brought a meal, and a women I’d never met but was in a craft group on NextDoor who also had BC also brought a meal). I’ve since found a new group of people that are more caring, although we don’t talk health specifics, they are kind. This is a Tai Chi group (who knew!) There are kind people out there (and in here). I hope your future holds new friends!

Know that we all are right there with you in spirit! Come back here and *talk* with us about your doctor’s visits! We’re here to listen and virtually give you a hug!

So much thank you all! I had the biopsy. The local didn't really work so it was kind of painful. With CRPS, I have "central sensitivization" so everything is perceived by my brain as pain. So stuff that is actually supposed to be painful, is perceived as like "on steroids." On the other hand with CRPS, my pain tolerance is pretty good so maybe it evens out. I watched some YT vids about stereotactic biopsy, knowledge is better me and as a nurse, yup I want the deets. So I was surprised it was hurting as much as it was.

A typo above said it was female dr, its a male. I do better with female but this guy is just the nicest guy who has dedicated his life to only women's cancer (ovary, uterus, breast.) What I read online was that its done by a radiologist. In this smaller office, he owns the machinery etc so its in his same building and he came down and was there the whole time. He remember the conversation we had last week. He has an assistant who does all the needle stuff while he watches the xrayish thing and guides her and can make sure they got what they needed. They went "around the clock" (his words) and took it all out including the calcium deposits. And put in the titanium piece. If its negative I'm done, its out, and ill probably go back to more frequent mammograms for a while. If malig, surgery to get clear edged. I meant to ask today if it had smooth or jagged edges and forgot.

Friends texted me this morning to tell me good luck and think positive (in this case don't we need to think negative??? Lol) if I put energy directed to this, I will hope/pray for negative. I should tell that to people. NO. We all need to think "negative!" Maybe if I'm light about it, people will be less afraid. My pastor had breast cancer she told a few of us once in a book study. I can always make an appt with her. She knows a lot of my backstory (childhood creeps etc.) So yes, I'm also in therapy. I started seeing her 2 weeks before mom died and I had already been told I had breast cancer. I saw her twice, mom died, the pandemic was declared while I was in preop and I never saw her in person again for 2 years. But we got to know each other and niw, 5 years later still seeing her, she is a huge support last night it felt like the only person who cared, I paid to care.

But, she, psychologist, specializes in chronicpain and autoimmune disorders, and PTSD. She has Diabetes and RA herself since she was 13 and knows. She's very kind. Very kind. It turns out she had several clients with breast cancer a few years ago, so she became certified in breast cancer therapy. She does that which is pretty amazing. She does trauma informed therapy and is really more perfect for me than the person I had to stop seeing when I retired. Life is funny. "The universe has my back" is what I need tattooed on my arm! She's good at reminding me of that.

My sisters. My younger sister had breast CA in 2019 and is really busy still working full time plus after retirement. She's not had an easy life by a long shot and lives with so much unwarranted guilt (in my eyes.) So she I kniw will be really angry with herself for forgetting and will call feeling terrible and it will be on me to sooth her! That's probably what ends up happening huh? We help people go thru their feelings about our cancer. But some may have lost a parent, a spouse, a daughter my age? and we just don't know what is being triggered for them. I know very well that many times the patient has it easier than family and friends. I kind of expect to end up doing a lot of soothing those who feel bad they forgot. Many do have very busy lives and in the light if day, I know people care. Right. 3am alone it feels like there is nobody.
I have belonged to this forum for a few years. I never thought I would end up in this section. That whole "we worry, God laughs" or however it goes.

I also belong to a really supportive website. Many of whom I have met in person. It would be as if this forum ran a retreat each year and we git to know each other as real people. So I've done the retreat 2ce (its fairly expensive but we are all disabled in the same way) and it adds a real life layer. Also monthly zooms. So virtual has become real. But I also want to protect them. One's DH was just diagnosed with cancer, another woman has inoperable ovarian. And everyone has stuff. Even in person we use out screen names so we know each other but not real names and not really where each other live.

There are so many ways to do life. On of my best friends is someone I met on a trauma forum, the total opposite of me. That was 18 years ago. Her 12 yo son is now in his 30s! As a self-employed graphic designer, she has taken me with her to every job and I do all their design work and she got me hooked up in a national network but with curs, they lost funding and my business is all but gone. But I'm starting to work on another gig.

So as you can see, hopefully, bring in the trenches last night, tho I'm always up and down with depression, bipolar, and etc, I'm usually above water.

I'm so sorry all of you have been here done this and came out with "positive" news. I appreciate your caring messages. They have felt so very kind today. And thank you.

So brass tax (tacks?), I find out next Thursday the results. I'm guessing from there, if its cancer, life changes very very quickly. I have a week to prepare my home for the best comfort. I was reminded in your post that my church has a meals thing that I can sign up for. I go to Unity church and there is a 24/7 prayer line that anyone can call. Its been 24/7 for 120 Years I think. Or more. Never a minute missed, all volunteer. They even follow up with you if you want.

So if I show up down and out esp this week, you will know that indeed I am very fortunate. As we all know, 3am is the bewitching hour when darkness gills the head esp when there is good reason.

So, its done, I'm home, I tossed the diet and bought a large pizza on thw way home. Though I hate to gain bavk too much, msybe ill can the diet for the week.

Merci all. I appreciate you're caring. You will come to know that succinct is not my specialty. So TL:DR or just pass on by is ok and understandable. Truly.
Be.

Hi Betty,
I completely related to your post. I am a bit younger than you and do not have children, so it can feel at times like the support one would have received from family isn't there. I also have pain throughout my body due to joint instability, and ironically I've been dealing with hip pain on and off for a few years. For the joint pain, I highly recommend Softwave (google the find the provider page). It is a form of high-powered ultrasound that penetrates deep into the tissue to heal and strengthen. Of course not covered by insurance, but one of the best decisions I have made for my pain.

So back to the heart of your post. Feeling alone and scared in the waiting. Have you ever sought out God… I mean really cried out to him. The Bible says he draws close to anyone who has a broken heart and who seeks him with all their heart (Psalms 34:18, Jeremiah 29:13, Hebrews 11:6). I can tell you from personal experience that God has never shown himself more real to me than in these times of loneliness and suffering. And I understand now that he sent his son as a human to experience and endure all of our painful experiences (and thensome).

I believe there is a very kind sisterhood in these forums. I am glad I found them and I am glad you are here too. Know that I will be praying for you every night. Some say this as a way of blowing people off, but those who sincerely mean it understand that the power of God can break through any circumstance/need and turn it around for good. I used to think of prayer as a last resort. Now I see it as the most powerful thing I can do to help myself or others. Stay strong, yet humble enough to turn to your heavenly father and to us here for support. ❤️