Really Hard Days ...

My sister never lost her hair. She had chemo several times in 11 years. I don't know what kind she had, but her oncologist was at University California at Irvine.
She took Tamoxifen for 4 years.
Dr.Rita Mehta.
It is possible to not lose your hair.

@angiemal
I’m sorry you have to go through all this- it definitely is scary.
I had mastectomy and chemo many years ago- before some of the tests such as oncotype existed. However, with my cancer I believe I still would need chemo if it was now.
I did not lose all my hair- it thinned out. It depends on what drugs are used.
I have 3 children- at the time they were 5,9 and 11.
I explained what was happening and that I needed to take these medicines for a few months and then I would be fine. I told them that I would feel sick to my stomach for a couple of days each time I got the medications, like a stomach flu.
The 5 year old probably didn’t really understand, but he knew I would be fine. The 9 year old was afraid that I was dying and slept in our room most nights for the 6 months. The 11 year old accepted the explanation best.
I wasn’t sick all the time either so we did all the normal stuff families do- birthday parties, trips etc.
We got into a routine around the time I had chemo which made it easier for everyone.
You could ask your daughter’s pediatrician for advice on how to tell her.
I hope you don’t need chemo at all. However, if you do need it you can feel sure that everything has been done to eliminate any cancer cells in your body.

@angiemal do you have your pathology results: ER, PR, HER 2? Waiting for the Oncotype is very stressful. I got an Rx for Ativan which I barely used but knew it was there!

I'm thinking about you and sending healing and thoughts of peace. Waiting is so stressful, but substitute uncertain thoughts w the inner wisdom that you're stronger than you know. Keeping hopeful thoughts for you. I'll hold them until you can do so yourself.

I am 1 year out from my DM. I was petrified at thought of needing chemo. We celebrated when my oncotype came back that I didn't need it. As of right now however, PART of wishes I did get chemo. I deeply fear recurrence but if I had chemo I think my mind would be a bit more at ease. I have not communicated this to my family. I was so against it from the beginning they would think I've lost my mind to say part of me now wishes I got it.
But if I get a reccurence and have to have I know I will be ok, even though my hair is the only thing I like about my looks. I would for sure get a wig, and I know I woyld be ok because I made it through DM and ovary removal surgeries. When I talk to people who had chemo I have a guilt feeling that I didn't have to have it .
I understand your fears!
Please believe that either way, you will be fine.
As far as communicating to children, we told our son the day I got the results. After I asked him how he felt about us telling him and not waiting for " a better time?" Or keep anything from him for his protection. He said most definitely he was glad we told him right away and gave him all the info. We offered him to come to any appointments but we wouldn't ask him. We would just tell him when I had an apt and he could let us know if he wanted to come. He came to 2 apts and was with us when I had the DM. He was in high school and just turned 17 when I was diagnosed. May God grant you peace about your worries!

@rom828 didn't the Oncotype also tell you that chemo would be of no benefit? Chemo works best on cancer that is fast-growing, I was told.

I am 9 1/2 years out from a highly hormonal cancer, grade 3, with lymphovascular invasion (cancer cells in my lymph vessels but not nodes). I did letrozole for 5 years, no chemo, since Oncotype was 8 (despite high grade). My report from Oncotype showed no benefit from chemo. I think that is different from it not being "needed," Maybe ask your doctor to clarify this!

My Mom was a librarian, and I was a teacher, so my mind always goes to children's books as being a good way to explain things to kids. There are some available online (check Amazon or Barnes and Noble) that look excellent for explaining cancer to elementary school age kids. For example, check out "The Kids' Guide to Mommy's Breast Cancer." https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-kids-guide-to-mommys-breast-cancer-karyn-stowe/1106524362?ean=9781463447168
I hope this helps!

Thanks so much for taking the time to answer. Reading that you are not sick all the time and you managed to do other activities give me some relief.
Thanks!!

Thank you! Great advise!!
I really appreciate your message.

You are right , if the score is low it means the probability of this cancer to return is low so you don’t receive benefit from taking chemo as this is not decreasing those chances more.