Ready to throw in the towel

I went through the same thing with my Eligard injections.

When you say that you “worked REALLY hard to stay in shape…” what does that mean? Were those significant resistance-training (weightlifting) multi-joint exercises that utilize the body’s largest muscle groups (mainly squat, deadlift, bench press, row, overhead press, and lat pulldown)? Or were they just regular, easy, low-level exercises that people generally do?

Also, there is no need to go to a 500 calorie diet. Besides being very unhealthy, it’s unnecessary. It’s almost always about calories in vs calories out. In my case, in addition to weightlifting, I had to add alternating days of running 5Ks with swimming 35-45 minutes of laps every week.

Did you hire a physical trainer specializing in resistance-training prostate cancer/hormone therapy patients?

We often hear about the physical benefits of exercise to minimize the side-effects of hormone therapy (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YE61HSAsFb0). But, there are also mental health benefits as well: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8n0cIhamFvo

Many cancer treatment centers have counselors to help patients and family members in dealing with the emotional and mental aspects of prostate cancer and hormone therapy. You should consider reaching out to them.

Having heard in a PCRI Conference presentation that resistance-training helps to minimize many of the possible side effects of hormone therapy, I ramped up my strength-training program prior to my first injection.

As a result, my side-effects from Eligard were minimal - just minor “warm” flashes and muscle atrophy (resulting in about a 30% loss of strength). I did have a loss of libido, but no ED. No mood swings, emotions, fatigue, forgetfulness, confusion, memory loss, insomnia, night sweats, weight gain, etc., things (“male menopausal”) that are typically mentioned.

(By not starting a robust weightlifting program prior to starting on Lupron, you put yourself way behind and will have much to make up. It will not be easy.)

As for the loss of libido (with my testosterone level dropping to 3.0 ng/dL), everything still worked. (I was not going to take this lying down, if you’ll pardon the pun.) So, that loss of libido did not prevent me from maintaining the physical relationship with my wife. There was no desire, but I went through the motions anyway. Sometimes you simply do what you have to do. Life is that way sometimes…… The relationship survived without issues. I simply had to lift some weights and push through it.

Now with 20/20 hindsight, my Eligard experience was just a mild annoyance. Just as was presented in the PCRI Conference presentation, very intense resistance-training was the key.

Wonder if Decipher Molecular assay may help determine role for Androgen Deprivation therapy. Best wishes..

I would suggest addressing the emotional issues with a counselor.
Perhaps begin with the medical professional prescribing your Xanax.
The medical treatment piece seems to be in place for the next 6 mos with the recent Lupron injection.
Address the emotional aspect now, as that sounds like the most immediate issue.
There are information strings on this site about men dealing with ADT/Lupron side effects which may be helpful.
And other resources, such as the Prostate Cancer Foundation, that address nutrition, physical and emotional aspects of PCa and treatment.
Best wishes.

He said it was standard of care and I'm being treated at an NCI facility so I assume they know what they're doing. Besides, just got the second 3 month shot so there's nothing I can do about it anyway.

Sorry to hear that. It sounds unnecessarily strict especially if you're not in a big city and just in the more open parts of Canada.

@scottbeammeup
It is why you need to discuss with medical professionals not only physical but psychological issues you have. It is extremely important to be truthful. They have heard it all. They can advise you on medical and pscycological facts and and research for any concerns and you not having guess what is right or wrong information.

My anxiety and depression medication has no side affects on ED. It does change some heart electrical signals and my psychiatrict specialist worked with my Heart Failure and EP.. They all agreed the anxiety/depression medicaion would be a greater benefit to me than the low risk of side affects.

There are many ED medicinces out there that can help. Months ago on MCC I asked about dry orgasms after proton radiation. I was embarrassed about this and sure helped to read that it is a common side affect after radiation treatments and what others expressed on the long term affects. I used this MCC information to asked my doctors who all concurred what I was being told. MCC is such a great source of others experiences and knowledge.

Please do seek assistance. There should be NO shame in seeking mental health assistance. Doing so shows you are taking care of your mental health as well as physical health. There is NO shame in not seeking assistance. The shame is not doing it.

In the U.S., I could fly a tiny ultralight solo, because you don't need a license for that, but I still couldn't fly a cross-country plane Cessna or Piper — it would be like being able to drive an ATV but not a car (so not all that useful). In Canada, you need a medical even for an ultralight. The general rule of thumb for any serious cancer in either country is 5 years cancer free and not on active treatment for an aviation medical, which isn't ever likely with stage 4.

I know in my head that you're right but don't feel that way in my heart yet, though I do know from life experience that eventually you can get used to just about anything so we'll see. Just out of curiosity, why can't you fly a small plane, even solo, if you have prostate cancer?

There's also a loss of identity. You probably thought of yourself as the fit guy at the gym with an active love life, and that's been taken away from you. I was a private pilot and small-plane owner for 19 years. and while I still have my license, I can't use it without a current medical (they told me they're never likely to approve one again).

These are real losses, and it takes time to grieve for them — for months. I cried every time something reminded me of the plane. But (to use a flying metaphor) you can eventually break out above the clouds into the sunshine.

I'm so sorry about your situation. I'm going to suggest ending the 500 cal/day diet and going back to enjoying well-balanced, healthy meals.

I lost 40 lb post surgery in hospital because of a prolonged ileus, then gained back 60 lb when I was home in bed and a wheelchair after my appetite came back. My family doctor's advice to me was "First get strong, then we'll talk about weight." You can't be strong on 500 cal/day, and it's hard to be happy, either.

Unfortunately, ADT *will* change your body shape, but if you find a way to make peace with that (and I know it's not easy), you might discover that there's still a lot of joy out there waiting for you.

I'm not suggesting you eat an XL pizza every day, but you're fighting cancer — that's enough s**t to deal with without starving yourself, too.

As for erections, read some the threads here about pumps. I haven't tried one yet, but I'm seriously considering it.