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My wife suddenly died next to me after 40 WONDERFUL years of marriage
I was married for 40 spectacular years. She died next to me in bed almost instantly having an MI ( heart attack) in bd next to me. I still cry every single day. My two sons said that their mm and I were closer that they have ever known. Needless to say, it was like a ton to f bricks hitting me in the head!! Psychiatrist prescribed four anti-depressants to take at bedtime. My medication list looks like an old inventory of Walgreens. I tried dating 3x but none of them worked out. I paid for three expensive dinners and it was a waste of money. Yup , heart my SS. My sone who is an Alzheimer’s and Dementia expert told me I should have gone to three coffee shops, but it felt cheap doing it that way. After dinner two of them just got up and went to their cars, and the third at least said thank you and good bye. Hey, I am no Brad Pitt but I am no Quasimodo either. So now I don’t know where to turn. I hardly ever see or talk to my sons since they are both very busy! I told one of my daughters-in-laws that I was upset about losing my wife. Her immediate response was “You know your son lost a mother and you forget that!” What, anyway just needed to talk to someone and let it out. Yes, had a therapist but it was a waste of time! Both my sons said I am too trusting and too giving. Is that a fault ? Not to me.
Anyway, that is my story and I’m tired of taking all those meds. Physician said don’t stop taking them. I’ll see how it goes from here on. No more dating for me. It wasn’t the money I spent, it was the hurt of hate three women just walk away from me. So now, time will tell!!
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Hag in there buddy I know it must be hard but it not going to happen over night, but you will except what has happen in time & just keep the memorious of the great time you had together .
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1 ReactionI know exactly where you are coming from. After 6 months, I still can't get rid of anything at all and have trouble even looking at her clothes. As I said, time will heal but only to a degree. Never completely. We need to reconfigure our lives without the other person which is very difficult. We were married 2,752 weeks and she has been gone only 25 weeks. I try to remain active, and it helps,
Thanks Ed,
Whoever said time heals all wounds has no idea what they are talking about!
She died January, 2015 and nothing is the same any more! I finally emptied our closet and donated her clothes x
Keith - When you say you will never be the same, that is so true. It won't be. I can't believe in 10 days, it will be 6 months since my wife passed away and my life is still rather upside down, nothing is the same but slowly improving. And that is important. Grief takes a while, and most people can't understand what you are going through. You'll improve slowly at your own pace and please don't let anyone push you through this process. I still get "ambushed" with grief and will for a while, but those periods are now further apart. I went through a period of shock, and you did as well. Time will heal. Take care of yourself. Ed
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2 ReactionsFeel your pain lost my most precious wife to cancer holding her hand on Easter Sunday, I will never be the same, life will never be the same, the headaches from crying are severe, but she would want me to be strong so cliche though true. You are in my prayers my friend.
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6 ReactionsJust a quick comment: About 7 weeks after my wife passed away in Feb of this year, I took a deep breath and joined a support group which I've found very helpful. It is an in-person support group consisting of folks who lost a spouse or partner. There are other support groups that meet for people going through the grief process. I believe worth while exploring all possibilities. Ed
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6 ReactionsI thought I was the only crazy one who wants the tv or music playing when I’m help. Helps a little bit!
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1 Reaction@dennismm I agree, don't like the silence at home. I normally have the Alexa playing music and I leave it on, so I hear music when I come in the house. When Alexa isn't on, the TV is on.
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1 ReactionIf she goes first 😪, I will live life x 2 for the both of us, until I go over that horizon.
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1 ReactionWhen I get home the first thing I do is turn on the TV. Can’t stand total silence any more!