MCI at a young age; feeling lost

Posted by dreamingstars @dreamingstars, Jun 3, 2023

Hello, I hope you all are doing alright! I'm new here, but I would like to politely ask for support/guidance/advice from others who might know what it's like to be in my shoes, especially from one who is also around my age (early twenties).

I’m unfamiliar with finding treatment due to not having resources most of my life, so in general, tips on what to look for/do when finding proper treatment and/or therapy would be immensely appreciated!

I have severe memory problems, stemming from ADHD, Severe Depression, and MCI from being born 5 months premature. Without journaling, and constantly writing down what I do in my day-to-day life, I have immense difficulty remembering what I did even only a few hours ago.

While I can remember the most important events that happened in my life, the memory still feels foggy. They honestly hardly feel like they're my own memories because of how vague they're becoming. I’ve had this issue since I was a kid, and it makes me feel isolated, as cases of severe memory problems occur most often in older folks, and resources are mostly catered to them.

I have severe anxiety that leads me to depressive episodes. I often find myself getting lost in a downwards mental spiral of self-doubt and criticism; I worry too much about whether or not I've done something wrong even when I didn't actually do anything wrong, and overreact when I do.

If anyone has any mental exercises that I could use to help coax myself when I’m in these really bad funks, that’d be really great! As well as any tips for helping one’s memory. Any bit helps!

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this rambling, I appreciate it!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Brain & Nervous System Support Group.

lissu | @lissu | Jun 4, 2023

Are you under doctor’s care? In my life, I have found that medication works the best. There are so many different kinds of anti-depression and anti-anxiety drugs, that the hardest part is coming up with the combination that works best for you. This can take years of trial and error! But the sooner you start, the more years of your young life you will save. Don’t give up

Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | Jun 4, 2023

@dreamingstars I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to face every day not knowing what you can and cannot remember. Kudos to you for deciding to journal so that you have a written record to refer to. That takes real effort on your part and your willingness to do that says a lot about how committed you are to your own mental health.

I’m curious - did a neurologist or a psychologist diagnose Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) which is an acquired disorder meaning that a person’s memory was normal up until older adulthood. I’ve never encountered or heard of that diagnosis outside of an older person who shows signs of dementia that does not meet criteria for Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia.

Are you working or have you worked with a mental health therapist? The memory symptoms you describe can be due to ADHD, depression, or anxiety as many of these symptoms overlap among these mental health disorders. Let me say that I’m not at all doubting your experience of memory problems. I’m just wondering if you are treated for ADHD, anxiety, depression if some of your memory symptoms may be alleviated. Sometimes what feels like a memory problem can be due to focus and concentration. You must focus on incoming information before you can even begin to store that information in memory.

I have a few suggestions that are not mental exercises but rather coping skills when you are feeling in a funk. When you feel like that is it hard for you to get up and go about your day? If so, make one or two goals for yourself that requires you to move your body. This could be making tea in your kitchen, taking a shower, or going for a short walk. All of these things can break a person out of the funk that makes you feel like not moving or not taking care of yourself. Do you like yoga? If so, there is a yoga instructor on YouTube that I like - Yoga with Adriene - that is free to subscribe and watch and you can do in your own home. Sometimes I literally have to force myself - be willing even when not motivated - to do yoga when I’m feeling anxious or depressed.

Yoga with Adriene
https://yogawithadriene.com/
Does any of what I wrote sound plausible to you?

jenatsky | @jenatsky | Jun 5, 2023

You mention your age as young but never give it? From the numerous symptoms you describe and that you never mention whether you’re in therapy or receiving any psychiatric medication, I presume you have chosen not to seek mental health support? I’m a retired nurse and have training in psychiatric evaluation. You need help and you should seek it out sooner than later. Trying “mental exercises” will not provide with with what you need but only further delay your seeking mental health support. @naturegirl5 is correct MCI is an old persons disease so it seems you diagnosed yourself incorrectly. Further indication you have not gotten the help you need. The NEW mental health emergency number is 988 and they will help connect you to someone whom you can speak with to get you started with mental health treatment.

marsheng | @marsheng | Jun 5, 2023

Thanks for stepping out. What I have found is fixing what you describe can be quite a journey. I found that I had to change the way I thought to start to fix me. My thought frame work had to be reconfigured. What I mean by that, is we pickup thought patterns as a child and we keep those till we find we need to change them.

My best example of this is, I went on a 5 day meditation course with 2 very experienced degreed psychologists and after that I thought, been there done that. 2 years later I saw a Youtube talks by Kristen Neff on self compassion and on the side, another link to Christopher Germer, an antidote to shame, and I thought, there people have got it together. Really good talks. Then something in my mind clicked, I found the work book on the Meditation course I went to and Kristen and Christoper were the authors. It took me two years of other reading post the course, changing my brain thoughts, before I finally could understand what they were on about. It was a wonderful new insight into my life.

Being born premature has its problems. The book The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van De Kolk is something worth reading. It talks about early childhood development and things that can go wrong, For all of us, we didn't have perfect caregivers, and, we adapted to the situations. This coping method we created, we carry on through our lives. It is normal to us. Its hard to reconfigure it because its so normal to us.

So for example, if we screamed as a child to get attention, we probably will carry that on through life. It worked, we got what we want.

For me, a high level of anxiety, reduced my short term memory. Part of the consequences of what happens with the fight flight response.

I would suggest looking at those early years with an experienced therapist, try to understand what happened and then accept the outcome. Once I understood and accepted, things, I found the anxiety started to drop away.

Please keep us posted on what you are trying. It can be a long journey but one worth doing. It is your life. There are no quick fixes with this sort of thing. Be encouraged.