Mass found on CT scan, going for an endoscopy and scared

Posted by klsmidwestmom @klsmidwestmom, Aug 15, 2022

Hello there,
I took myself to the er a few weeks ago because of a heart burn that was concerning to me, ct scan showed something in my esophagus. I also had some enlarged lymph nodes. The er doc said it could be inflammation or food, but the gastroenterologist is a little more concerned. My family doctor thinks it’s very unlikely that it’s a tumor, but either way, I’am absolutely terrified. I’m terrified of the endoscopy, as I have a horrible gag reflex, I’ve never been under sedation of any kind, and I have two more weeks to go before the procedure. I can’t stop obsessing about this whole situation, and I just don’t know if I can go through with the endoscopy. I’ve considered canceling it because of my fear. I have a lot of medical anxiety, I would rather do a barium X-ray (although I know they can’t biopsy a mass)

I’m caring for my father, my first grandchild is about to be born any day now, and my youngest is starting her senior year of HS, I’ve always been the one to take care of everyone, two grandmother’s, my father now, and I work in a nursing facility. I don’t really have the support of anyone encouraging me because I’am the one everyone comes too.

I guess I just want to know what symptoms you all experienced with esophageal cancer, how it was diagnosed (meaning what symptoms brought you to get a diagnosis) how your experience is with an endoscopy and what to expect, will I know right away if it’s a tumor and the doctor feels it could be cancer? How did you deal with the diagnosis, what do you do for severe anxiety when you can’t focus an anything and feel this terrible dreadful feeling deep in the pit of your stomach every day?

I hope this doesn’t sound a bit ridiculous not really knowing yet, but I would appreciate prayers and any advice right now. Thank you so much!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Esophageal Cancer Support Group.

Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Aug 17, 2022

@klsmidwestmom, oh my. My mind starts racing just reading your post. I can see that you are wearing the weight of the world on your shoulders. Breathe ... in ... out ...
If we were sitting together rather than writing on this forum, the first thing I would do is to make you a nice cup of tea, get us comfortable on the patio furniture in the garden and take a minute to watch the butterfly flitting from flower to flower.

Now let's take one step at a time. Your doctors have found something that needs further investigation. Great! This is a good thing that it was detected and they're on top of it.

@riflemanz64 is right that you will be given comfortable sedatives first to relax and then to put you out so you won't feel a thing and your gag reflex won't be an issue.

You can get through this and you will. You have too many people who love you and who you want to care for and love back to not go through with the endoscopy. This is the step to take to stay healthy.

Don't put the cart before the horse as they say. I know you want to know more about symptoms people experience before being diagnosed with esophageal cancer, but it's too early to be thinking about that just yet. The endoscopy is just checking things out. It could be food, inflammation or something completely benign. IF it's not, you'll cross that bridge when it's time.

I know your anxiety is real. My words are easier for me to write than for you to do. I get that. But I'm here and so are many other members like @gingerw @loribmt @survivorsuz and others who have been there. We get it.

Now, would you like another cup of tea?

klsmidwestmom | @klsmidwestmom | Aug 16, 2022

Thank you, I’ll try not too, it’s hard!

riflemanz64 | @riflemanz64 | Aug 16, 2022

Don’t worry about the endoscopy because it’s really nothing because you’re knocked out. I’ve had 4 of them and never knew anything was down my throat. They give you a great drug to sleep.