Just scared: Cancer and scared leaving my daughter behind

Posted by hnreinhart12 @hnreinhart12, Feb 24 8:13am

My name is Heather, I am 38 years old. I had surgery/diagnosed on 10/9/24 with NSCLC adenoidcarcinoma EGFR 19. Non smoker. I have had multiple lung nodules for 15 years. We followed them for a few years, but due to how young I was and no smoking history, I was told they were benign, and follow up was stopped, unless I started having symptoms. I had bad chest pain before my surgery, which is how we found the cancer. During my surgery my largest nodule was 2.3cm with Visceral Pleural Invasion. I also had 3 tiny tumors around it, but all considered primary tumors. Therefore stage2b multifocal, I did not have lymph node involvement, no lymphovascular invasion, or airspace invasion. They believe the other nodules that have been stable for 15years are atypical adenomatous Hyperplasia. I am scared beyond belief. I have a 8year old daughter who is beautiful and she is autistic that I am scared of leaving behind. Chemo was not recommended. I went straight to Tagrisso. I don’t know what I am looking for my writing this.

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Profile picture for hnreinhart12 @hnreinhart12

Thank you so much. I’m struggling mentally. I work full time as a nurse and just exhausted. Scared the cancer will come back. Frequent thought.

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Hello,

I also have lung cancer ALK- I take alectinib. I hope you are feeling better and less scared about living with cancer.

So much of this is controlled by our thinking. I had some free sessions with a local non-profit called Healing Partners. Is there anything like this where you live? It was very helpful. Checking in with someone who listens, sharing fears, etc., and then doing some light bodywork?

Hope you are doing okay.

april

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Profile picture for cmcguire10 @cmcguire10

Heather- First of all, I will pray for you! Second, the fear of our Cancer returning is natural. I had lung cancer surgery for adenocarcinoma 2 years ago. March 24, 2023. After recovering from a lung surgery, I felt fantastic that they got it out. But then started understanding that Cancer can rear its ugly head again. Every time I have my 6 month check up CT scan, I get scared. NO ONE wants it again! I have decided, first of all, to give my worries to God. Second, instead of concentrating on the “what if” I decided to make plans. More or less, get things in order. Figure out who will care for your daughter if needed. Don’t just talk about it, actually set it up. That’s one thing taken care of and off your worry list. Go down the list of worries and try to set things up that will then give you the freedom to know everything will be okay and you will see that you won’t worry about those things and you can start enjoying living in the present. Eat a Healthy diet so you will start feeling good about that. (If you don’t already) But definitely make yourself some “Me” time! I have found that to be very mentally beneficial! I have raised 6 children, one is high functioning Autistic. Now that they are all 21+, I realize how worn down I was worrying about them and caring for them, just being Mom. It’s like the airplane oxygen mask. Put yours on first or you wont be able to help anyone else. I pray that you will come to peace with your situation and I pray that God will put his healing hands on you! All my best, Cindy

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Beautiful post and my prayers are with you for continued positive outlook and your faith in God.

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Oh, and I have a sister who had pretty bad case breast cancer at age 29. She had a mastectomy without reconstruction and she is now 73.

When the going gets tough, the tough keep going.

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Profile picture for hnreinhart12 @hnreinhart12

wOW that is amazing!!!!

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Her last daughter was born in April 2016. The docs discovered the cancer growing again and recommended brain surgery once again. As the baby was only 30 days old, she opted to wait and delay surgery, so she could breast feed the baby at least six months.

The last photo I had of her before the surgery, she was nursing the baby, in her pre-op bed just before that surgery, with her medical crew staff of nurses around her.

Following surgery she recovered again...that was 9 years ago. She now holds a PhD and has raised all those kids.

When devastating things enter our lives, we never know, nor can we know what path it will take.

Continue to live as much as possible like the event is "just a bump in the road" and "this too shall pass".

I know it is easy to say...I wish you fortitude and God's blessings.

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Profile picture for slarson14 @slarson14

I identify with you having an eight year old and being diagnosed with cancer at a young age.

My eldest daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 29 and had children 6 months, 26 months, and 4 years of age.

Of course devastating was to say the least. She has had two long brain cancer surgeries, gone through chemo once.

Her only prayer when she was a young mother of 29 was to see the eldest graduate from high school.

Well she has seen that happen, as well as see him graduate from college, the next two that were 6 mo and 26 months graduate from college this year.

And even though she had chemo, she had THREE more kids...and they are now 17, 15 and 9.

She still has the brain cancer...they monitor it and then operate on it when it grows a bit.

A success story for you to think about.

Stay strong, think positive; give your daughter a strong role model. You can do this.

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wOW that is amazing!!!!

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Profile picture for hnreinhart12 @hnreinhart12

I’m so sorry you are going through this! I’m doing okay so far. I got a scan coming up in a couple weeks. Mentally I just can’t get focused 😩.

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I identify with you having an eight year old and being diagnosed with cancer at a young age.

My eldest daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 29 and had children 6 months, 26 months, and 4 years of age.

Of course devastating was to say the least. She has had two long brain cancer surgeries, gone through chemo once.

Her only prayer when she was a young mother of 29 was to see the eldest graduate from high school.

Well she has seen that happen, as well as see him graduate from college, the next two that were 6 mo and 26 months graduate from college this year.

And even though she had chemo, she had THREE more kids...and they are now 17, 15 and 9.

She still has the brain cancer...they monitor it and then operate on it when it grows a bit.

A success story for you to think about.

Stay strong, think positive; give your daughter a strong role model. You can do this.

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Profile picture for sydmiller1 @sydmiller1

I will be praying you get good results

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Thank you so much! I will be praying for you as well! Everything okay your way?

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Profile picture for hnreinhart12 @hnreinhart12

I’m so sorry you are going through this! I’m doing okay so far. I got a scan coming up in a couple weeks. Mentally I just can’t get focused 😩.

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I will be praying you get good results

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Profile picture for sydmiller1 @sydmiller1

Hi Heather. I can also relate. I am 44 and have 3 children 13 and under. I had surgery for a neuroendocrine lung tumor 2 months ago. I still feel horrible and the fear can be a lot. How are currently doing?

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I’m so sorry you are going through this! I’m doing okay so far. I got a scan coming up in a couple weeks. Mentally I just can’t get focused 😩.

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Hi Heather. I can also relate. I am 44 and have 3 children 13 and under. I had surgery for a neuroendocrine lung tumor 2 months ago. I still feel horrible and the fear can be a lot. How are currently doing?

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