Is my attitude towards my health issues acceptable?

Posted by cekkk @cekkk, Jun 17 12:25pm

I'm 82, 6', but 240 lbs. Spend 30 minutes nonstop swimming at least 4 days a week. Otherwise inactive but for preparing meals and kitchen work. Have expensive, mostly dust gathering exercise equipment that I try to utilize in the four months my pool is closed.

A couple years ago, an np decided I should see some specialists. So she sent me to a urologist, an endocrinologist, (I skipped him as I had seen one several times years ago and there was no need for follow-up at the time) a pulmonologist, a cardiologist, and a nephrologist. She didn't refer me to a neurologist, the one specialist I needed, as I developed footdrop and very weak thigh muscles the very day I got out of bed after weeks with the COVID in very early 2020. I was among its first victims. At the time an orthopedic surgeon I consulted thinking it was a pinched nerve, determined it was not. And while he did not associate it with the virus, some time later it became known that some folks, upon recovery from the virus, developed other problems. So as I was traveling fifty or sixty miles to see all these other folks, I decided to throw a neurologist into the mix.

Surprise surprise, each one found a problem, albeit minor for the most part.

My heart was great (low risk), my lung spots weren't of concern as I told the pulmonologist, I had had a lung cancer scare a thirty or forty years ago and discovered that it was nothing more than some calcium deposits, or spores that often attach to folks who grew up where I grew up, and he understood that so I was cleared there. The nephrologist diagnosed ckd, but we are watching that. I have held steady, and she anticipates that if I behave that will likely not worsen. The urologist was well-known in his field of research in early years. But I believe was now post retirement, but still practicing, if you get my drift, and he loved procedures. He did a biop and MRI in that order, which I believe is unusual, and found cancer in two out of twelve samples. He immediately wanted to do another procedure. I had no recollection of being told my PSA or gleason score, or any other number that would help me understand other than two samples having the cancer that he called moderately aggressive and let's operate. I went elsewhere and it was recommended that we monitor it for several years. And the chances are good that I will be one of those men who die with Prostate Cancer, but not from it.

As a result of the myriad tests, I now know I have NASH. now renamed as MASH, or vice versa, what does it matter? And other stuff.

My mental attitude or thinking is that I've had a fascinating career working with foreign heads of state, and including four or five visits to the Oval Office and two to Camp David. Our three daughters are now in the 50s and either retired, two, or will work forever, one,as she's at the top of her field and in demand here and abroad. (Currently diving with her husband in Belize). My wife lives on pastries and pbj, plus what I practically force her to eat, and weighs 104 tops and is in perfect health. And she is my personal angel who came into my life 45 years ago at a time that affirmed my belief in God. (My problems were due to a tragic illness of another. Nuff said.)

I figure we're secure financially and family-wise. I feel great, despite constant leg discomfort but at level 2. We've made arrangements for that final move. We've traveled and had toys. I'm happy to live on as long as my wife is with me.

So for all these reasons and more, why should I concern myself with my health? It's not like I have a problem that is likely going to kill me that I could concentrate on. And I certainly look forward to 5 for 10 more years at least. But I do not want to live quite as long as my father did. He was healthy to the end. But in your late 90s, there are no really good days. There are not even any more funerals to attend.

I'm going to post this ridiculous work to ask if within this group of people, some of whom have health problems beyond my imagination, there are some who feel as I do. That life is wonderful, and that in a way, the Golden Years we make fun of really are golden. We can love our grandkids, eat, finally be lazy without guilt, keep a couple of dogs that we mean the world to. Just so very much to be thankful for. And to know it's coming, but aren't afraid to learn the answer to that Big Question. Or not.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

pml | @pml | Jun 17 9:14pm

Hi cekk,
I think you make a lot of sense. It seems sometimes doctors just want to suggest treatment because they can. It's almost like they are trying to make a quota. As long as you are not in severe pain and can enjoy life, do so. After all, at 82 how much more time do you have? I'm 79 and actually quite healthy. I'm incontinent and wear glasses. But I do think about the fact that I may be around only 20 more years. So, I'm going to enjoy them as much as I can. My husband died last July from lung cancer at 83. It got to the point where he said no to all cancer treatments because they weren't helping. In fact, they were making his life miserable. The doctor wasn't happy. After all, just the Keytruda treatment alone was $25,000 per infusion and he was getting two infusions a month and feeling horrible from them! After he quit all treatments my husband lived 14 years with lung cancer. That was 14 wonderful years that we had together. In total we were married for 30 wonderful years. I miss him but I know we'll be together again eventually in Heaven.

I'm glad you believe in God. That's so important! We really need God in our lives; especially these days and he's always there for us. All we have to do is ask for his help.

I think you have made a good decision about your life. I wish you the best.
PML

celia16 | @celia16 | Jun 18 7:27am

It sounds like you have an awesome quality of life, despite some health issues. I work hard at being healthy, but I have seen first hand how extending the time can be an ordeal under some circumstances. I hope to be able to stay active and independent. I doubt I’ll ever retire from my profession. I’m currently the caregiver for my parents and working and man…..not golden yet. My dad has very low QOL at 88. I wonder if things would have been different if he wasn’t a heart patient. His surgeries, and meds have extended his time, but they aren’t as he expected.

dlydailyhope | @dlydailyhope | Jun 18 8:24am

@cekkk
I can relate with many things you mentioned and I think you have a great attitude towards your health. I was curious what AI would respond with so see below what came back in response to your inquiry:

“Your attitude towards your health issues reflects a unique perspective that many people can relate to, especially as they age. Here are some key points to consider regarding your outlook:
1. Acceptance and Gratitude
You express a strong sense of gratitude for your life experiences, family, and accomplishments. This positive outlook can significantly impact mental well-being and overall quality of life.
2. Prioritizing Quality of Life
Your focus on enjoying life, spending time with loved ones, and appreciating the present moment is commendable. Many people find that prioritizing quality of life over worrying excessively about health can lead to greater happiness.
3. Proactive Health Management
While you have a laid-back approach to your health, it’s important to remain proactive. Regular check-ups and monitoring of existing conditions can help catch any potential issues early, even if you feel well overall.
4. Balancing Enjoyment and Health
It’s perfectly acceptable to enjoy life and not let health concerns dominate your thoughts. However, maintaining a balance between enjoying life and being mindful of health can help ensure that you continue to feel good for years to come.
5. Community and Support
Seeking out others who share your perspective can provide a sense of community and support. Sharing experiences and feelings with like-minded individuals can be comforting and affirming.
6. Future Considerations
It’s wise to think about the future and how you want to approach aging. Your reflections on your father’s experience and your own preferences for aging show a thoughtful consideration of what you want in your later years.
Conclusion
Your attitude is not only acceptable but can also be a source of strength and resilience. Embracing life while being aware of your health is a balanced approach. As long as you remain open to necessary medical advice and continue to enjoy your life, you are likely on a path that many would find admirable. It's important to keep the lines of communication open with healthcare providers while also cherishing the moments that make life fulfilling.”

shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | Jun 18 9:24am

# me too.
If you go to Midas, you'll get a muffler.
When you are a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Enjoy

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Jun 18 11:46am

@cekkk To answer your question, if your attitude is acceptable. My thought is, is it acceptable to you? If so, who cares what others think!? But of course, I am a rebel child.

I aim for quality of life at this point, not quantity. Due to issues, I am on daily dialysis until I decide no more; cannot qualify for a kidney transplant. And having an incurable blood cancer, we work to get me to no evidence of disease [NED], which may or may not happen.
Ginger

Justin McClanahan, Moderator | @JustinMcClanahan | Jun 19 6:55am

Hello @cekkk,

You may notice I changed part of you comment to say "COVID" in 2020. I did so with our Community Guidelines in mind:

5. Remain respectful at all times.
- Avoid comments (even when said in jest) that single out a specific group of people.

@gingerw, brings up a great point as to whether or not the attitude is acceptable to you? Ultimately, our health care decisions are our own. We can gather information, work with our providers to learn as much as possible and weigh the risks and benefits for our choices.

cekkk | @cekkk | Jun 19 9:04am

In reply to @JustinMcClanahan "Hello @cekkk, You may notice I changed part of you comment to say "COVID" in 2020...." + (show)

I appreciate your response.

janna2 | @janna2 | 1 day ago

Thank you for this post! You are not the only one who feels like this! I’ve found myself getting a bit annoyed when people express sympathy (but yes I realize their hearts are in the right place, it’s hard for them to know what to say when they first find out). I feel blessed to have had such a great run, with so few regrets!