Intimacy and sexual life living with colorectal cancer

Posted by verol65 @verol65, Mar 15 1:03pm

Intimacy and sexual life living with colorectal cancer is not much talked about. So far I have not seen it mentioned anywhere, except in a few article that only state that intimacy and sexual life are often affected by colorectal cancer and move on to another topic without digging in. However, I believe that there are others among you who would welcome the opportunity to talk frankly about this subject that is dismissed more often than not.

In another thread (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1029381/), @chinoomee mentioned "even if someone doesn’t have a bag or have had resection (recovery) or just chemo med induced diarrhea/gas it definitely interrupts any sexual activity. Well, even constipation can and these are all things we will all experience. I did find a few articles on the ostamates support website and there is also a section in the NCCN patient guide". Maybe Chinoomee could share the links to those articles as a start.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Colorectal Cancer Support Group.

verol65 | @verol65 | Mar 15 2:24pm

Adding menopause to the bargain is no fun. I myself have been menopausal for only about a year now.

For the vaginal dryness, there are some solutions. There is a thread about it in Breast Cancer Support Group: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/vaginal-dryness-solutions/.
Isdin has an non hormonal vaginal moisturizer called Woman ISDIN (R) Vaginal Moisturizer. You apply one monodose 3 times a week, preferably on alternating days.
Premarin Vaginal Cream is conjugated estrogens and helps make the vaginal tissue more elastic. Check with your doctor if it's an option for you.
Outside of the US, you can ask your doctor if tibolone (in Mexico, it's sold under the brand Livial and some generic brands) is an option in your case.

Let's Talk Menopause is a great place to go to for information about and support with menopause. They hold monthly free webinars. https://www.letstalkmenopause.org/. They even have a podcast called "Hello Menopause!". I've never listened to the podcast, but I have attended various webinars.

chinoomee | @chinoomee | Mar 15 1:46pm

I agree, although I have not had the same medical issues as you,
I have cuddled and I have masturbated my husband too so that he could have a release.
But even that, most of the time I don't feel good, due to pain, gas, nausea, diarrhea or consipation and I have been forced into menopause too on top of all of that. So, I am dealing with vaginal dryness and hot flashes too.

chinoomee | @chinoomee | Mar 15 1:42pm

Sure,
https://www.nccn.org/patients/guidelines/content/PDF/rectal-patient.pdf
.
https://www.ostomy.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Intimacy-After-Ostomy-Surgery-Guide.pdf
I found another article when I was researching bag covers and can't locate it at the moment.
If I find it I will add to thread, but it might have been a marketing site as it was discussing bags with charcoals filters to reduce or eliminate odor when traveling/sexual intimacy

verol65 | @verol65 | Mar 15 1:12pm

I'll start.
I had a two-stage Turnbull-Cutait pullthrough with coloanal anastomosis, a form of Low Anterior Resection, at the end of January and beginning of February. I also had a vaginal flap at the same time. I still have pain in the anal/sphincter area due to the surgery trauma and prior radiotherapy.
Before my surgery, I had a very satisfying intimacy and sex life with my husband, but since then, it's been a dry spell. We have hugged, we have spooned, with me being the big spoon because it hurts to feel his erect penis against my butt. I have masturbated him a couple of time; the first time especially I was very uncomfortable because my labia would swell, but since the vaginal flap is still inflamed, there is no way I could stand penetration. That same inflamation even makes me unwilling to masturbate in any way.
The other uncomfortable aspect is that having to go to the bathroom is so unpredictable, particularly with the clustering, that I can't imagine being intimate and having to interrupt whatever caresses we exchange to go to the bathroom over and over.

How has it been for you?