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Inner Death and health issues lifer…
I got the title from the post about six words to describe your situation. I’m sitting here in my living room recovering from my third surgery in less than six months and trying to wrap my head around how I’m going to navigate life with this new set of health challenges.
You say health issues are not new to me I got live +100 years as I’ve been suffering with chronic pain for 25 years. I’ll give you some not all of my issues you couldn’t handle it if I told you or better yet you wouldn’t believe it. So I have fibromyalgia. I have PTSD anxiety disorder. My neck is fused from C3 to T1 had three surgeries on that great achievement and it’s giving me the lovely gift of cervical stenosis, degenerative disc disease, spondylosis, and I’ve had two right hip replacement surgeries with the last one being due to a staf infection. I will be on anabiotic’s for an entire year with six weeks of that being IV.
I got on here cause I needed someone to hear me see me feel me. I need to know that I am not the only one that has lost their entire adulthood. I’m 54 single with two grown children. I am above average looking or so people say.’Does that really matter in the grand scheme of things?
Anybody else out here just want it all to be over? With everything I have had to deal with, now I have to deal with a staf infection. I love my kids and I want grandkids so bad. I can’t find the strongest reason to be here and enjoy it. My daughter would be the strongest, but it’s still very hard to want to live for somebody else. Just trying to find out how you guys live; how do you deal?
Thank you for listening or reading thinking about me and responding.
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I’m what’s called a walking quadriplegic x 37 years. All the long term studies on my condition are full of survivor bias’ which means too many people have died to come to reasonable conclusions. Pain, spasticity, no use of my arm or hand. I feel like a liability to my family, the tax dollars that pay for Medicare, my friends, you name it.
I just take it day by day. I take enjoyment when I can get it. I try to get out of the house 5 days a week. I like to read. I paint a little with my non dominant hand (very frustrating but it’s important to find a hobby). I advocate for the ADA. If taking it day by day is too much, try hour by hour. Try to get enough sleep. If you are having suicidal thoughts please discuss them with your doctor.
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9 ReactionsMany people with ongoing pain have started to use Gummies CBD or otherwise..It works for many many folks..some states its legal through a Dr..Dr's are allowed to discuss this now with their patients..Reach out I'd you feel you could try this..to ease your pain and mental stress..Prayers to you..
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3 Reactions@pattymc So true. Many patients with cancer and undergoing aggressive cancer treatments swear by CBD gummies for pain relief. I’m fortunate I haven’t needed to (yet) but they’re definitely on my radar if ever needed.
Pain makes everything else so very very much harder to handle.
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2 ReactionsSometimes when I start feeling hopeless, I will think of things I am grateful to have. I am not homeless. I am sober. I have food and my basic needs met. Although I struggle with several physical issues as well as emotional trauma, I can still find something that I am grateful for. I did have to start taking a low dose of an SNRI for depression. It lifted me out of the hole. There are still mornings that I wake up wondering how I am going to "make it." I make myself get up and take care of my animals. They depend on me. I have no children and have isolated quite a bit the last few years due to my health issues so I only have one or two people I can call that I truly trust. All any of us has is today, not guaranteed tomorrow. Today I am going to do what I can. I am so sorry that you feel so bad and have had so much pain. Talk with your doctor about Naltrexone. Even a dose of 25-50 mg can make a difference in relief of pain. Hang in there and I am glad you reached out. Keep talking, there are those of us who are here. I have felt a lot of support from these groups.
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