Im giving up on life

lowens, tell us your story.

You are not alone - we are all here for you. I know what being where you are now feels like. I was sitting at my kitchen table with a tall glass of water and bottles of my meds in front of me. It’s a horrible place to be. How did I stop myself from taking the pills? There was a small placard on my refrigerator that showed a small bear holding onto a balloon, with the words “ Faith isn’t faith, until it’s the only thing you have left to hold onto.” I’ve been a Christian since my early 20’s, but that didn’t keep me from getting severely depressed - but it did keep me from taking those pills. That and the knowledge that my husband would find my body. I really wanted to take those pills, but today I’m so glad that I didn’t. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. No coming back from that. Get some help, right now! There are help lines you can call, or you can walk into an emergency room. Don’t worry about what people will think - you’ll probably never see them again anyway. Isn’t your life worth it? Yes it is. Please don’t give up. Even if you’ve never talked to God before, ask for his help. God will never turn his back on you, especially in your moment of greatest need. Please keep talking to us. You are truly not alone. Even though we have never met, I love you as your sister in Christ. Just keep reaching out to us.

You could talk to someone. They might transfer you to a crisis line, but a Warmlines might help you find care. Also you can contact your insurance company and receive care. https://www.warmline.org/

I wish you all the best. I know unfortunately how bad things can feel. In my case it got better even when I felt it wouldn’t. It took me time and counseling plus the correct medication.

@mbixler ” Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. No coming back from that.” Spot on!

You are special!! I don't know your story...please share!! I do know this..God made you and He loves you whether you are a believer or not.. I'm 71 and got real physically sick in 2019.. life hasn't been the same..I have had suicidal thoughts since I was about 12..I have heard those same dark thoughts .. they are not from God they are from the enemy.. He wants you to take your life.. and GOD DOES NOT and WE DO NOT!! I have been sick in bed all day with kidney stones.. fighting doctors again next week.. who knows what satan will throw in my way .. but I will put on the full armor of God and march on!! I have seen 2 husbands die in front of my eyes.. one dropped dead with a heart attack while we were talking ..alone..it took an hour to get an ambulance.. the other died of cancer in the living room.. 21 days on hospice.. I did it alone..(he didn't want any one to see him except hospice...I respected that..) It was brutal.. one night I just sat there while the dog was dying..and thought I ought to shoot that dog and shoot Dave and shoot myself.. smoking a cigarette at 57 and watching a horror show in my living room on a Sat night about 1 AM.. but NO!!! I cast my care..and went to bed.. in the morning the dog was passed..I buried her with 3 fractured ribs in the June Oklahoma concrete ground.. and then 4 days later Dave died..I watched him.. we were alone.. but not alone..I just screamed "Jesus please help my man"..and a bright white light shown in the entire room and he was gone.. you know it was hard!! I don't know your story.. but I do know this.. God has a good plan for your life .. He loves you enough to send His only Son to die for you on the cross.. I have become a Pentecostal Christian since I have become so sick..and He has healed me of so many things.. cry out to God!! You can't take "a bullet back".. no you can't ..or undo what ever you think you might do.my best friend shot herself at age 56 in 2006 and we still cry for her.. someone will be crying their eyes out over you.. someone will have to find you ..and they will have PTSD.. love yourself!! You are specially and perfectly made by God himself!! I am praying for you!!.

Hi @lowens82, I'd like to add my welcome. As you an see, members have reached out to you since you posted earlier today. You're not alone. We're here. We're listening. Can you share a bit more about what is going on?

Thank you for this! You are so right! God is always there for us.
PML

You do NOT give up. Giving up is not an option. What can you do, today, just today? Can you go outside and look and listen to the sounds of this earth and all that live here? I do not know your situation, but I know that I have felt hopeless at times, many times, but it passes. If you need to, get some help. I had to start taking an antidepressant (lowest dose) to bring me up out of the hole. I am out of the hole now, but there are times when I still wake up with that feeling of hopelessness, but I make myself get up and take care of my dogs and my 2 cats. I do not have children and lost my partner, he died...but I know that I am not alone. I may be lonely, but I am not alone. I believe everyone and everything in the Universe is connected. If you look deep down, you may realize that too. It is in all of us, although depression sometimes tricks me into believing I am alone...I am not. Please continue to share with us. All we have is today. I can get through today. So can you.

PLEASE call someone to help you get to an Emergency room and get some help. It may seem like there isn’t anywhere to turn but with those trained to help you it will get better. Being alone, in trouble, or just in pain isn’t easy, but you can be the storm. You can fight for your life and win.

God loves you and so do we. Prayers and you owe it to yourself to fight. We all are stronger than we think. We have your back and here for you. Ask God to help you. He has me to many times to count.