If my story ended here, it would be a tragedy

I am so very sorry to hear of your plight. Not a good place to be at only 16 years old. I am no couselor, but I think you need a support group to participate in. One that allows you to express your feelings and to hear the stories of others who are going through similar things. I would suggest doing an online search or contacting a local church. They may be able to help you. I went through a similar period back in the 60's (yes, last century). I had convinced myself that life had no value and was not worth living. Never contemplated taking my life...too chicken!
I can only hope to encourage you with the words of Jesus: "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden...and I will give you rest". Also, the encouraging words of the prophet, Jeremiah: " I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you".

Thank you for your encouraging words. This means a lot. I hope you are in a much better place in your life now.

My situation should not define me. I am not happy that I am in the situation that I am currently in. But, I can have JOY in knowing that God loves me and has a plan for my life, even though I may not be able to see it at the moment. And, He has a plan for your life, even if it is not clear to you at this moment. Hebrews 1 gives the meaning of faith: “Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.”
Keep on keeping on. You are loved.

My dear one,
You are 16.
You are just beginning your life and at 16, the world CAN seem hopeless, dark, unfriendly, and contradictory. You have no energy because your heart is worn down with hopelessness. Your passions have been dulled. You have isolated yourself Inside because your eyes perceive the Outside offers you nothing of substance.
And yet, you care. You care enough about yourself to share your miseries.
You know something? We’ve ALL been there. Yes, we have.
Some in their teens. Some in their 20s. Others in their 30s. Many in their 40s and 50s. This is all normal. Each stage of life has troubles. But it also had a profound amount of joys!
Do you WANT to get out of this dreadful slump? Or Have you befriended it to the point that its become more comfortable than the effort to resist it?

If you want to win this war against depression, you will have to dress in your battle gear. It will take work in small steps.
The first step, is to step outside. Walk for 30 minutes and consciously L👀k for Beautiful things, even the smallest things. Take a few moments and study what catches your fancy. Then Listen. Listen for natures voices; birds, bees, flies, cats, dogs, the wind sounds. Look up at the sky. If its a sunny day, look at shadows and the shapes. If its cloudy, look at the different hues and cloud formations.
When youre done outside, go back inside and put on some classical music and write what you are grateful for…whatever comes into your mind.
This will become your Blessing Book.
If you have a Bible, go to Proverbs.
Get a notebook and a nice pen and start with Proverbs 1 and write it out.
Use a calligraphy pen and focus on making the words beautiful. Listen to the words as you write. Think on them. Make this book a work of beauty.
Write an entire Proverb a day. There are 31.
Start with the Blessing Book and the Proverbs Book.
This will give your mind and heart a fresh redirection.
Let us know how this works for you.
You’ve got this!
Yes, you do.
Your writing articulates you do.
“Seize the day” because Tomorrow is promised to no one.
Blessings to you sweet one. 🌺🌷🌸❤️

This is the sweetest message I could’ve possibly received. Thank you so much for caring enough to write me all of this. I have started gardening, I want to give what I have to nature. I’m also going to try to go for walks as you suggested and come back home and write everything I think. I know I’m only 16, but it feels like I’ve flushed my teenage years down a void of nothingness, and there isn’t much left. I’ll never get these years back and I’m really disheartened with how I’ve spent most of them feeling depressed. But I guess, I have also grown exponentially in these years and learned so much about myself and who I am, knowing that there is so much more that I don’t know. Anyways, I have hopes that I’ll truly find fulfilment in all the ways that I am meant to. Thank you for your kind words, once again. I wish you all the best 💕

You are Precious.
And for 16 years of living,
you are remarkably astute with
Wisdom and Insight.
Consider this: like your garden:
whatever Loss you may feel in time and in living, YOU are in the Garden of life.
YOU have been planted by God,
and YOU
have been weathered
and Grown.
How is that?
By the very Depression you have had overshadowing you.
Yet, Look how this darkness has opened up a Light!
In your youth right now, you are beginning to put your past behind and you are Moving forward.
God IS GROWING you.
You have identified the enemy: Depression.
You are not alone. That enemy is a spiritual battle.
As far as losing time:
Here is a promise… it comes from Joel 2:25:
“So I will restore to you
the years
that the swarming locust has eaten,
The crawling locust,
The consuming locust,
And the chewing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.”

God is faithful.
Any Time you feel you have lost,
God will redeem.
Let me briefly share with you:
Trials are a gift.
In the Bible, read the book of James.
All things that come into our lives are filtered by the loving hands of God.
Like you tending to your garden, God is tending to His.
Sweet one,
may I encourage you to write about your garden. See the beauty, the work, the care, the weathering, the dryness, the rain, the growth, the weeds, the pruning, the multiplication by propagation;
ALL you do,
Watch, observe and provide,
IS parallel with your life.
The weeds and insects can creep up on you. They will destroy some, but with your watchful eye, you will do what is necessary to help your garden grow.
With daily attention, you are caring for that which feeds you.
You have already grown thru a storm.

I am SO very proud of you.
Why?
You have identified your enemy,
Depression,
and tho it may have tormented you with Tragedy, you have within you a Warrior spirit.
I say with confidence, keep looking up
for
Gods Blessings are being poured upon you and into you.
Those of us who have read your post are cheering you on.
I am and will continue to pray For you and Over you.
We have a Mighty God.

Let me end with this:
It comes from Philippians 1:6:
“…. being confident of this very thing,
that
He
who has begun
a good work
in you
will
complete it
until
the day of Jesus”

In His Grace and Mercy, I praise Him for your life.
He does wonders in the storms and fires of life.
He is working in you.
You have His Hope and Guidance.
Read Isaiah 61
🌺🌷🌸❤️🥰

You Are Blessed.

If only I could be 16 again. I would try to love myself instead of seeking love from someone else. I didn't feel love at home, so I thought my boyfriend would show me the love that I was missing. Instead he just gave me a son, who I was unprepared for, but who I loved regardless. At 16 and a few days shy of 17 I left home with m y baby because I couldn't deal with the way things were at my house. There was no physical abuse, but there was mental abuse, which to this day my mother would deny. I am now 68 years old. Life hasn't been great, but it has been good most of the time. I went on to have 2 more sons and a beautiful daughter. I have 13 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren. I earn a very good income. It took many years and a lot of learning, but I feel successful. If I were 16, I would have taken a different path, but I love life and I hope that you will find your way. There are so many opportunities now that I didn't have at 16. You can live anywhere in this vast world and do and be anything that you want to. I wish that I could give you a physical hug and tell you that it will be better, because it will.

You are seriously depressed. The psychologist was wrong. Journaling is not enough! You would profit from seeing a psychiatrist—if you get lucky, you’ll find one who does psychotherapy in addition to other treatments. Sometimes, psychotherapists affiliate themselves with a psychiatrist. You should know within 4 mos. whether that person (psychiatrist or psychotherapist) will be able to help you. If not, don’t give up. Find another psychotherapist, Your psychiatrist (given that she/he is helpful) should be able to help. Consider, with your psychiatrist, trying medication. Specifically, try antidepressants which work very well. The dr. needs to help you find the one that has the least side effects for you. Cymbalta is good, as are Prozac and Zoloft, but individual responses vary.
Where are your parents in all of this? Have you talked to them, and will they help you? Presumably, you are still covered by their insurance which can help pay for treatment. If there’s no support there, try a psychiatric clinic at a major university medical center.
Newer treatments include various forms of transcranial magnetic stimulation or TMS, effective quickly in 70% of patients. One of the newest forms is accelerated TMS which treats depression fully in one to two weeks! I’d still recommend psychotherapy, b/c it would be helpful to find out how this serious depression came about, and how to avoid it in the future.
Psychotherapy can be individual, group or family or some combination. Start with individual. Good luck to you on your journey! Help and hope are on the way!!!
Keep us posted about your progress!

I'm sorry to hear that your depression is bad I too have depression I'm a very good listener if ever you need someone to talk to on here,🤗

Your symptoms are the definition of depression.

I have suffered from depression since I was six. I am sixty, and I am only starting to get a little better now.

Depression changes the way the brain functions. The longer it goes on, the more ingrained those changes become. When I was young, very little was known about mental health. We now know that getting treatment as soon as possible is imperative. Effective treatment can help ensure you never have another depressive episode. Wait, and you could find yourself suffering for decades.

Please do whatever you must to get help, even if it means going to the emergency room. Stop your depression from "metastasizing" and further affect your neurobiology.

You don't have to want to improve; I frequently do not. You need to act as if you do. Treat yourself with the love and compassion you would have for someone you care about.

Please get help now and save yourself a lifetime of misery.

I hope you live in peace and good health.