I need help finding some direction to keep going.

I am so sorry for all your trauma and loss. Can you get any type of therapy? Financial help? Use food banks?

Hi Sharon,
I'm sorry so many terrible things have happened to you and your husband! Especially losing your son! How tragic! And your nice restaurant! I'm sure that it is very hard to deal with all of this. The best way to handle it is to give everything up to God. Tell him of all your problems and ask for his help and guidance and you will get it. I'm 79 and my husband died of lung cancer a year ago. It almost devastated me but I turned to God for help and he was there for me. Also be glad that you and your husband still have each other and your grandchildren and daughter in law. Remind everyone how much you love them often. My husband and I told each other how much we loved the other and I'm so glad we did while we still could. I know I'll be with my husband in Heaven eventually as you will be with your son also.

Financially you might go to a church and tell them your situation. They may help you either with cash or food or both. In the past I have received financial help from a church that I wasn't even a member of to help pay my rent when my Mom died and I didn't have enough to pay the rent. The food banks that were mentioned are a good idea also. Do you have anything you can sell? Bring all of this up to God also. He'll make sure everything works out fine for you and your family. I'll say a prayer for you too.
I wish you the best.
PML

I did go to therapy after Jonathan’s death for about three months- $ 275.00 an hour. We will have to sell our remaining assets. It is just that I am broken, heartbroken, sad and see no joy or purpose in the few years I think my husband and I have left. He was such a beautiful young man. I can’t believe he is gone.

I do understand about loss. I am so sorry. I do not have children. I had my own crisis back in 2014 and daily still I have to align myself with my purpose for being here. In my case it is live to forgive and try to help others so our world is a little better each day for now and the future

What you've had to endure really sucks, and I'm very sorry that you're in the situation that your family are in. I can completely understand where you're coming from in relation to basically be living for your grandkids, and doubting your happiness in other ways. We've been through a lot in the past few years as well, I was forced to walk away from my job after 17 years and go on permanent disability in '15. We had to sell our home and live with our son and his family for 2 years. In 2020 my older sister went into the hospital for a month before she died due to a massive infection due to her RA medication that had destroyed her immune system. This was when covid had hit the fan, which meant that no one other than her husband was allowed to see her, not even her own kids could visit. So she went into the hospital, and a month later she was gone, we never saw her again. She was only 64.
I've been living with chronic pain due to osteoarthritis and neuropathy in my feet for 10 years now. My wife works full time to support us, but we're still screwed financially because of my retirement, my SSDI benefit is considerably less than what I was bringing home when I was still working. We'll never own a home again, and when our current lease expires, we have no idea where we'll end up living.
Depression and chronic pain together can have a massive affect on your out look in life, and right now I'm basically existing to see our grandkids grow up, that's it. We have 4 grandkids, our son has 2 daughters who are 17 and 13(holy crap), and our daughter has a boy and a girl ages 9 and 6. I'm trying to create as many memories as I can with them before I'm gone. Luckily they're all here locally, growing up my grandparents lived 1200 and 2000 miles away, so we rarely got to see them. Thing's aren't ever going to get better for me, I've accepted that.
Life isn't fair, and it never will be either.
Hang in there.

My heart brakes for you too. I had no idea when I was younger that any of this could happen. Yes, it the grands that keep us here or otherwise there would be no reason. When your health goes it so hard to give back by volunteering, walking etc. So, I offer you back a Hang In There.
I can't imagine what will become of us if our grandkids and daughter in law move away. There are many thousands of people in our very same situation. I often think of the 100,000 plus widows in Ukraine and all the fatherless children. Take good care of yourself. Your grands need you.