I come here to read the comments....

For me, it's been reading the personal stories and learning the bigger picture, outside my specific treatment path (which was atypical, as I've mentioned in other threads).

Prostate cancer isn't just a single thing: there are different types, some slow-moving and some swift and aggressive, and we all get diagnosed at different points in the cancer's progress, at different ages and with varying general-health situations. It's amazing to see how many options there are, and how the healthcare system adapts itself to each patient's needs.

You touched on a lot of interesting points.

Regarding “… and what I may become: Impotent. Weak. Emotional. Depressed. Dying.”

Many of those can be minimized if you approach them correctly. As for dying, prostate cancer has nearly the lowest mortality rate of any cancer you might get. You’ll likely be around a long, long, time.

Impotent, weak, emotional, depressed,….. again, all depends on how you approach your diagnosis and treatments.

Try not to overwhelm yourself by reading and spending “Hours on this computer trying to learn and make sense of what you are going thru....”. Take your time. (I spent 9 years on active surveillance learning what I needed to know.). Taking your time will take care of the mental aspects of prostate cancer.

If you simply follow the numbers, you’ll get through this well.

@stage4lovolmetpc

I appreciate your desire to help us all with cancer to get our arms around it. Like you, I listen to and read a number of sources to keep up with the nuggets of information that may help others and myself should there be a re-occurrence. That in and unto itself gives me some hope that better solutions with less negative impacts are being worked on.

I also read on this site from a contributor, that every time the person gets his quarterly or 6 month blood test, he treats himself, beforehand, to something special, whatever budget permits, so that at least he has something to look forward to.

Whatever time we all have left in our lives, I have found that leaning, parsing and appreciating the friends and family we have in our lives can take on a stronger and more positive meaning that helps us get through the difficult moments of doctors or side effects.

You are right. It’s unique to each man with the disease. I posted my journey at Facing High PSA. Hope it helps just one person.

@stage4lovolmetpc as you suggest, and following up on what @brianjarvis wrote, the weird thing about prostate cancer (at least the so-called "incurable," stage-4 variety you and I have) is that you get used to it after a while. It's just part of who I am now.

I guess it's the same as divorce, or military service, or prison (none of which I've experienced) or being disabled in a wheelchair (which I have). The initial shock is normal, but it doesn't last forever, and eventually you settle in, make peace with the changes, and get on with your new life.

So how did he change you? The website seems more like a PCa handbook. Are you now more motivated by treatment and less anxious about the side effects?
Phil

thanks for the link

I like digging into the research: good research not what you get from a google search ( too many commercial sites/ weak research, I checked out a prominent urologist recently who had a bunch of You Tube videos he was advocating AUS to a fault then I checked out the feedback he got from patients. what a contradiction most rated him poorly, results of the procedure were disappointing. patient care was lacking etc. This does not mean to attack AUS it has its place and can be quality of life asset for many. I have learned that from reading this list.
I like both ends: learning from actual patients on this list real experience, then good research ( do a Google search on anything , then repeat the search with the term 'pubmed' at the end and compare the results. When you include pubmed you get research that is stored in the national library of medicine generally worldwide research from peer-reviewed primary sources

the good research more or less points to positive results and many new therapies and interventions. the science is evolving which helps those with prostate cancer

I'll be the one piece of good news for you: RARP January 2025, not a single millisecond of ED nor of incontinence. I did have mostly nerve sparing surgery. I was more depressed before treatment than after (by a massive measure) because, like you, I worried incessantly about the side effects and long term prognosis. Honestly, life is just as good as it was before I found out I had PC.

I took many preventative measures for months before surgery: getting into better shape, hammering my pelvic floor, giving up alcohol and anything that might undermine my progress. So I am the good news that I found nearly impossible to find out there.

The primary reason I stay active here is to be that voice, because most guys will leave the forum if they have no post-treatment issues because why wouldn't they? If we don't have issues or concerns any longer, what is to be gained? That's why finding the multitudes of success stories is very hard to find (here and everywhere).

I also read the forums quite often because there could be a "Chapter II" to this story and I want to have some information if or when that may come up. But, for now, I've got no regrets about surgery and, while PC sucks, it's not impacting my life as much as it is many others and I'm grateful for that.

Thanks for the link (https://phoenix5.org/). The "ARTICLES & STORIES" section is excellent. However, keep in mind the site (https://phoenix5.org/) was last updated on 14 April 2003. Prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment have changed since 2003. I looked up an AI bot about prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment in 2003 compared to 2025, and it is summarised as
"Prostate cancer treatment from 2003 to 2023 shifted from 'treat almost everyone' to 'treat smarter,” with major advances in imaging, genetics, focal therapy, and powerful new systemic drugs."

@juanmoczo Yes, Youngs last entry was April of 2003, he passed away June of 2003 and his wife wrote a very moving essay Nov of 2003, 5 month later. And then the website goes silent.
Now, 23 years later I stumbled across it, read it and it resonated with me. It was also interesting to see how much treatments have changed, although in Youngs case, (bone cancer throughout the body) when first diagnosed in 1999, he probably did well to live 4 more years. Anyway, for me, it was not the treatment or the doctors or the science, but the way he dealt with his cancer. If you wikipedia him you will see he led an interesting life....then when cancer changed his life he wrote about how he came to terms with it, in a very articulate way. The words he wrote 23 years ago made me think about how I was going deal with my situation. Im still figuring it out, but it helps to listen to other people, get a different perspective, then make my own choices for how I want this to play out. Hey! thanks for your comment and taking the time to read this, I hope you are well and enjoying today.