How to get over a relationship which really never existed

If he doesn't want to be with you, then you don't want him! Forget him and go on with your life. Don't answer his texts, calls or emails. It will only end up hurting you. What you want is a wonderful man in your life who will like and maybe eventually love you for who you are. Pray about it and you will find him. I was in my 40's when I found the most wonderful man! We were married for 30 fantastic years. He recently died from lung cancer. But I had 30 very happy years with him! I'm so grateful for that! I will say a prayer for you that you will find the right man for you.
PML

I would suggest research about trauma bonding. I learned about several years ago and am looking at it again due to my current issues in my relationship. I do have ptsd

I give you my one word advice that I gave my granddaughter:
NEXT!!!

@poojasa432. Welcome. This is such a difficult situation that you describe as ultimately he has been leading you on with spurts of attention to keep bringing you back. There is something in that for him but I don't think it seems healthy for you. You did not mention your age or his age.

Have you talked with your friends about this? Or a therapist? When it comes to relationships it's not always easy to say "no" and then move on. Something within is keeping you hooked into this pattern with him and it would be good for you to figure out what that is.

Do you have a mental health therapist to talk with? A school counselor?

I don't mean to be blunt, but...
Don't waste your time on someone who's not really interested.
You deserve better. Move on.
In my distant past, I knew a woman who tried maneuvering me into a relationship. It didn't work -- it infuriated me.
I repeat -- move on.

We do have a 15-year age difference. I haven't talked to anyone about this because when I realized it, it seemed like a bit of a silly problem. But I have dated before and never found it this difficult to get over a particular man. Yes, I am giving it time and trying to understand what's happening.

Yes, Scott, I understand what you're saying, and I'm not doing anything to get him back. But I feel that this bond is trying to teach me something, and I'm struggling to fully process it.

@poojasa432 Since you are giving it time and trying to understand then I'd like to say you are doing what you need to do for yourself. You've also indicated in another note that you are not connecting with him or doing anything to get him back. You are very wise in that you understand that this situation is teaching you something.

Have you thought about journaling? If you do this, I suggest writing by hand for a set period of time (15 minutes to start?) in which you set a timer. Then just write away without any editing. When I've tried to process something that I feel is huge in my life that I don't understand but I know is holding me back somehow I have found that this kind of journaling was helpful for me. I get to a new understanding without completely realizing how I got there but that's OK. The process is helpful and then I can talk about that with my therapist.

What d you think about my suggestion?

My husband and I are stupid to argue right vs wrong us vs them control issues etc. Do not make this mistake. His mother warned me two months into our relationship he does not like to be controlled. But what occurred was stupid .

If you're questioning this I think you know deep down it's not a good thing. Value yourself more and don't hang on to the occasional texts. This is his way of complementing himself that you're still there. I wish you the best. You deserve better! 🌺