Going my way: Decided to stop cancer treatments

Posted by kitty1952 @kitty1952, Jan 18, 2018

To make a 18 yr long story short, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in Nov. of 2000 at the age of 48. I was told it was a very slow progressing hormone receptor negative cancer that I'd had for years. After lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation I had no evidence of cancer for almost 10 years. But was diagnosed again in January 2011 with stage 2 breast cancer in the other breast. This time a hormone receptor positive type. After surgery and remaining on Arimidex for 5 years, In Sept 2016, I was told the cancer had metastasized to my thoracic spine and two ribs. I'm told this is connnected to my BRCA1 gene mutation and is the most agggressive breast cancer there is and all that could be offered is palliative care and hope for 3 more years avg. So more chemo which was much harder on me this time, and some radiation. I developed a lung toxicity in my left lung and ended up in the hospital, in and out out of ICU three times, for almost 3 weeks. I couldn't go home so I've been in assisted living on oxygen full time since July. The left lung was too damaged to get it back to normal but I did surprise all the doctors by actually pulling out of the respiratory failure and making it more than a couple months.

So we're in the new year now, 2018, and I'm still here in the assisted living. Doing pretty well except for the endless debilitating fatigue. I'm on hospice and they do an excellent job with pain control and nausea so far. I count my blessings every day for the extra years I was given to see the youngest of my four kids graduate, get married and has 3 little ones now. I'm sure I've seen all my 18 grandchildren. Well, maybe there's another possible one in the future, my son and his wife are still "discussing" having one more...lol And I've seen 5 great grandchildren, I'm sure there will be many more. I've also been blessed with all of their love and support.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has stopped all treatments like I have. I did have one more radiation treatment in November and was sick from it for about 6 weeks. I've decided it's not worth being so sick when I could be having fun visits with children and grandchildren. The cancer is just taking its course now and it seems I can feel it slowly taking over. New bone pains, new aches, sleeping longer and longer, more growths or tumors I can feel under the skin. I just don't know what to expect, it's kind of scary. I'm not afraid of death, I just hope and pray the pain stays under control and I can go peacefully in my sleep. We don't always get what we want but I hope I do this time.
Anyone else in my shoes?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

Hello @kitty1952 I am Scott and it is nice to e-meet you here. I am sorry to learn of your battle with cancer. While I am not in the same situation as you, which is what you are seeking, my wife fought cancer for 14 years and many of the situations you describe were similar with her journey. While cancer journeys are as unique as the individual who fights on, there are some similarities. We also came to realize that often, with an individual's cancer war, the doctors can only guess at how the disease will progress and effect the individual.

She, too, was told her cancer was slow growing and it did indeed stay as that for over 12 years. Then, without warning, etc. it grew with an intense ferocity and with wide ranging impacts and effects on her.

For her last 14 months she chose home hospice for her and while it was a very difficult and challenging time in many aspects, her great fear of being in pain was kept at bay. The hospice staff was marvelous in making certain she was not in any physical pain for all those months.

I am more than happy to share anything that might help from her journey if it would be of help or succor to you.

I send you strength, courage, and peace!

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.