Help!!

MVA in '97 resulting in broken jaw, neck, back, crushed pelvis, extensive lt knee damage, TBI and rt side partial paralysis. Cervical and lumbar fusion, later lumbar fusion removal...then came good ol' MRSA.. grapefruit-sized "cavern" of MRSA fluid to right of lumbar spine..IV vanco and oral levaquin along with lumbar drain and I was okay. Next year, MRSA was back!! Wheee!! Larger grapefruit-sized pocket of MRSA fluid encompassing a transverse process leading to, you know it, osteomyelitis. Same meds but surgery this time to scrape necrotic tissue from grapefruit and remove transverse process. Twenty years later I've a super-sized-grapefruit ball of scar tissue to right of spine that's so big it's protruding out of my body and it's keeping on keeping on growing. Pain was controlled for twenty years with transdermal fentanyl patch 50 mcg/hour... that miracle drug was a game changer. Opiate receptors in brain are altered, can't get pain meds that work but they sure are pushing ablation, pumps and most of all, steroid injections. Twenty years of steroid injections have destroyed discs, tendons, vertebrae... all are chalk at this point. Pain clinics are a money racket and often nothing more than anesthesiologists (?) who fill their offices with PAs and their bank accounts with money. They're making sooo much money NOT helping folk.... this is hopeless. Apparently, there's fentanyl everywhere now but I don't know how to get it!! Let the over-dosers die, give me my med back and leave the rest of us to our minimally painful existence. Hopelessness is hell.