Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health

She just has little weakness on her legs ...so she is getting massage daily😊

She is walking around 😊

Samantha- I wonder why no meats. Meat in moderation wont cause cancer, I don't think. But if she really wants it than I say give it to her. Is she bedridden or up walking around? I am so glad that she has gained weight! You are doing the right things!

She has gain weight and eating well .....and she was told not to have meats.....

@eewtao- You have been through a lot. And you are absolutely correct. Recurrence is a different flavored jolt. After we make it through the first one, and time has passed, we think, "Hey, I made it!" A recurrence says, "No you haven't. I gotcha!"
"Go out and live your life" should be stricken from human speech lol. Well it's very tough because no one tells you how. No one says, give it time, your life will just be a different normal. You will learn to be more humble, appreciative and grateful. You've heard the term, "wake-up call". Although it can be a bit condescending it really means, "wake-up, become aware and take care of yourself now!" And by grateful I mean for your support system, the medical profession, the science and research that has allowed you to be taken care of.
How do we get to this stage of "live your life?" One day at a time. It's the only way, I think. It means that you tackle each day coping and trying to come to some control over your life. Deal with your physical well being. Decide how far you can push yourself physically. Take power/control over your medicines, you bandages, your diet, your exercise. Make your appointments. Set times for visitors, family, friends if need be. Go where you want when you are physically are able. Research anything that you don't have answers for, but remember: not everything has an answer. That was my biggest hurdle!
In my blog post, https://my20yearscancer.com/life-after-cancer/ I deal with this question.
Thank you for your your kind words. Reliving all of this for me is worth it when I can help someone else. It's the gift that keeps on giving!

And good morning to you. It's a different feeling to get a diagnosis of recurrence. Not the same quality of fear as with the first, but a different flavor of fear. The undercurrent of dread that I didn't realize I was hauling around with me until it surfaced powerfully and I was able to identify it and name it. The dread I am still carrying but want to address. My treatment - craniotomy in 2006. No chemo or radiation. Endoscopic endonasal surgery in 2015, followed by additional time in hospital with septic shock. Then a stint in hospital to remove a kidney that seemed to have a mass. It was benign, but they didn't put my kidney back in :)! Then back for gamma knife radiation to brain. There are pieces of the original tumor still in my head, so I live with watchful waiting. My original surgeon said, "go out and live your life", but to me this was not helpful. I don't think he really knew what he was saying to me. How does one live a life that has been so profoundly altered!?! And that, Merry, is what spoke to me in your blog post. That you've been on that journey. I am searching for clues that will work for me. Thank you.

Good morning @eewtao ! A warm welcome to Mayo Connect. You have come to the right place for company. Isn't it something when we are hit over the head with another cancer after such a long time! It does make us feel like drowning. I mean who is born and taught how to deal with this type of thing? It's like being shot. Does anyone teach us about the pain with that? Well, we are a feeling species and the emotional pain that we feel is just as bad, and usually lasts longer because there really are no bandages for it.
Let me ask you, what has your treatment been for brain cancer? Are you in treatment now?

Good morning Cindy- I am so glad that my blog has helped you feel like you are not alone. I can't imagine what else other than fear, anxiety, tension and depression you could feel after a diagnosis of cancer, or any other major illness. We have not only been told that our lives might be in jeopardy but then we are told that we have to have an operation/treatments where we lose a part of our bodies. And it doesn't really matter if those parts are inside or outside (although this makes it worse ), it's still a loss. Hey, give that back to me! That's mine! I've had it all my life! I don't care if it's rotten! lol
And on top of this you are dealing with your husband's cancer. I consider all cancer serious and how can you not be a bit "down in the mouth" now with all that he is going through? Is he in treatment and what kind of cancer does he have.

@jeanadair- Good morning. I am so glad that you wrote back. It's quite something, isn't it when you know something isn't quite right and then someone puts the words to it! I'm so glad that you found a doctor who understands you. What three cancers have you had? What treatments have you had? One cancer is a lot to absorb, but three! I have had four lung cancers. It is not easy. WHen was you last cancer?

I'm new to this social media connection. I just read your blog post. Thank you for writing. Your post feels helpful because I have felt so alone. And odd. Learning that others have thoughts/feelings/symptoms similar to mine is encouraging. I've had surgery for brain tumors including all the usual trauma that goes along with that, followed by 9 years of no symptoms but annual MRIs, followed by a s.u.r.p.r.i.s.e. recurrence and more surgery, followed by a feeling that I'm just flailing away at life these days. It's like the poem by Stevie Smith - I'm not waving, but drowning! I remember one of my original surgeons told me upon discharge from hospital to "go out and live your life" and I've been struggling with the "how?" I intend to explore PTSD. Thank you.